"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character" - Albert Einstein
I'm not a very strong person. Both emotionally and physically and I've always known it. People always use it against me , my weakness being a major factor.
And I've always allowed for it. Why? Because what else would I do. I admit, I am guilty of being a people pleaser. But that's only because these "people" are all I have. I never really had a family growing up and I got attached to the people around me who slowly became my own family. It almost feels as if if I loose them then there's nothing I have left to me again.
My conversation with mason this morning just proved to myself how much I let people affect me. I wish I had said something More. Expressed myself properly. Be listened to and not just be heard.
I want to be the one in charge. Not just for myself but also for my son.
And that's why I need to see Racheal. The woman I owe my entire life too.
Earlier she sent me a list of things she needed so I stopped on my way to get them.
The list was lengthy and quiet expensive I must admit but nevertheless, nothing is too big to repay her the sacrifice she has done for me
Looking back at all my friends I can't even pick any one of them that would have done the same thing, or even something remotely close for me.
She put her body and her life on the line just to spare my shame.
I was grateful and nothing was going to be enough to repay her.
I pulled up at her entrance. Struggling to carry all the things I had bought her today. I balanced the multiple bags on me and waltz in to her apartment floor.
As soft "I'm coming" was heard after I pressed her door bell.
She was in a bath robe and her flawless honey brown hair dripping water onto the ebony wood floor
With her baby bump prudging from the robe.
Or can I say my baby bump? Ha ha.
Rachael was truly a stunning woman. It beats me as to why she's still single. But I guess lucky me right?
She ushered me in, assisting to carry some of the bags from my grasp and set them on the kitchen counter.
"Hopey thank you so much. I didn't really think you were going to get everything. Oh my gosh you didn't have to. Hope it didn't cause you much trouble." She said as As she looked at me innocently and and searched through the multiple bags.
Of course it didn't. I thought sarcastically.
But instead I said
"Even if it did. I wouldn't mind. You're already doing so much for me Rach. It's the least I could do"
"Don't get me emotional Hope. Damn this pregnancy hormones. You're my best friend. If I didn't do it. Who would?"
"You're right. Thank you still. So how Is he. Are you having any troubles."
"This little bean right here had me awake all night. Nothing too serious apart from the regular nauseous feeling. I think pregnancy with boys is a little harder than girls. At least that's what the doctor told Mase and I the other day. in fact he said-"
"Mase and you?" I cut in. Shocked and confused at this new information
She quickly caught her self.
"Uh yes he was, he was here the other day to check up on me and he took me to see the doctor eventually. I thought he must have told you. But now I'm just knowing he didn't"
I didn't know how to feel about this. It didn't feel right. Since when am I not informed about a doctors appointment concerning my own child.
The fact that they went and left me out definitely made me feel some type of way.
Is that even right?
" oh Hope don't think about it too much. I'm sure it must have skipped his mind. I'm sorry. It really wasn't important. Just a regular check up. It didn't really mean anything"
Of course it didn't. A part of me just wanted to let it go but I didn't want to be so naive about it.
Especially with everything that had been happening.
But she was right. It was just one doctors appointment. Just one. It didn't mean anything.
"I understand. But I'd like to still be informed. No matter how small it is. It's important to me. "
"Of course. I promise it was just a one time thing. It won't happen again."
She said and waved it off.
I really hope it didn't. I don't like being left out. This was my baby too. it wasn't fair
I settled on the kitchen counter stool as Racheal walked Over to the bar.
"What can I offer you. Something light and sweet?
"Actually. Something a bit stronger." I need to relax. But of course I mumbled that last part under my breath.
"Ouuu. I have just the right drink girl. All this alcohol sitting there waiting for me to pop out this baby and get drinking again. I really do miss clubbing."
We bought laughed at that. Rachael had always been the party animal and alcoholic between us two. So again that's another sacrifice she's making for me.
"So. What is happening. Have you already picked your dress for Vivians party.?"
She asked me as she poured me a glass of whatever it was she was giving me
Speak of the devil. I always had a strange feeling when something bad was going to happen. And of course it just had to be Vivians birthday.
"That's it if I even attend."
"Come on. She's your mother in law. It'd look too suspicious if you didn't attend. You know as the golden daughter in law. what would the media say. surely you'd be giving them a good headline."
oh screw the media. but I knew she was right. they'd pry in my life even more than they already do.
That's actually the only reason Vivian invites me anyways. She'll rather have me there than to allow her perfect name be gossiped about. I genuinely didn't want to attend this but I knew I had to. Just the mere thought of being in her presence made my skin crawl.
"you know you have to be there. so just make sure you start getting ready. You know you have to look stunning or else she'll shave your head"
she joked and we both laughed. But honestly, we knew it was true. Vivian Jennings wasn't a woman to joke with.
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Its finally done!!!! Im truly sorry. ive had exams back to back throught this year so I really didn't have time. I still have my SAT in decmber ontop of all that so it really isn't easy even with the writers block. but im glad I have this up for you. hopefully the next one Is soon??????
And please keep texting meeee. I enjoy hearing from you guys and im trying to reply as much as possible. Lots of lovvveeeeeee
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When love hurts
RomansaHope and Mason Two opposite worlds crashed in a marriage Don't get it wrong. They aren't in an arranged marriage nor were they forced to fall in love. They were truly and deeply in love with each other by their will. Once upon a time they were hap...
