I was currently eating my donuts that we picked up on our way back from the hospital with a mouthful in our bedroom.
"Want one" I offered mason who hasn't said a word Since we left the doctors office.
He declined my offer with a slight shake of his head. I know he was disappointed, but I still wanted him to talk to me.
Wanna know what the result said.?
Yup you guessed write. NEGATIVE.
Ha. Told ya!
Even if I already knew what it was gonna be I still had a tinny bit of hope that it'll be different this time. ( note the sacarsm!)
But nooo. Natures just gotta fail me.
As usual, mason was quiet and busy typing on his laptop. I know he's just using it as a decoy so he wouldn't say the wrong words to me. I knew he'll never insult me because of it. But a part of me wants him to just shout at me.
Not necessarily insult me but at least show some emotion
Not just pamper me with donuts so I wouldn't feel bad. I feel even terrible.
He keeps hiding his emotions and shutting me out so he wouldn't let me see the hurt but he doesn't know he's silence is killing me with his silence.
Just say something damn it
I decided to break the silence
"I'm sorry." I said avoiding his pitiful gaze and concentrating on my donuts.
God I feel so bad. I'd do anything to make it up to him. But there's literally nothing I could give him if I couldn't even give him the only thing he wants
He sighed.
"Don't worry. We'll try next time"
No dammit! I don't want a next time. I felt like screaming. Can't he see how much pain I'm going through with all this. I'm tired so damn tired of the disappointments. I just need a break. A little break is all I'm asking for. I want to breathe again.
I miss my husband not this baby craved man infront of me.
"Can we just take a break please. For at least one month. Enough with the needles. Enough with the everyday sex. Enough with the drugs and treatments. I'm tired. I'm so tired of everything made I can't breathe. You're all choking me and I can't breathe"
Tears were already streaming down my eyes at his point. I couldn't hold it any longer I just couldn't
"Baby." He started. His voice barely above a whisper. He crouched down in front of me and cupped my face in his huge palms. Wiping my tears with his thumb.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know that's how. You felt."
Of course you didn't. No one does.
He continued
"We can take a break if I you want"
YES!!
"But what if-". He continued
Dammit!! I knew it was too good to be true
"-what if next month is our month"
NO IT ISNT!!!! I wanted to scream but I couldn't. So I just cried In his shoulders. Cried for the baby I couldn't have. Cried for my stubborn husband and cried for my self
"I don't want to do it anymore please. Just Let me be for next month. We'll continues after I promise. Please" i hiccuped with the best puppy dog eyes I could.
I wasn't faking these tears. They were 100% real. But I needed to convince him and let him see my pain. And that I wasn't going through the same pain again next month. I couldn't bear it again. Time like this is when I wished my parents hadn't died all those years ago. But you know what they say about the past. You can't change it. But a girl can only wish.
"Okay okay. Just next month okay"
Yessss I'm freeee.!!! Gosh I have the most understanding husband ever.
"Thank you"
"I love you sooo much okay baby. And nothing is gonna change that."
And that's was facts on facts. I knew no matter what mason was gonna love me
Through thick and Thin we vowed on our wedding day.
Forever and always
***************
"That is soooo sexy Hope. Let's buy it"
Mia cooed as she picked up yet another lingerie form the Victoria secrets rack.
I was out shopping with Mia and Racheal who hasn't gotten off her phone for a minute since we got here.
"What do you think Rach" mia asked.
"Hmm?" She questioned still not looking up from her phone obviously not paying attention to Racheal and I
"Never mind" I inserted
"I'm not getting any lingeries I told you we are taking a break.
I told my best friends about everything and as always they were supportive as hell. Even though Mia was masons sister, she understood and never once pushed me to make her an aunt. She was always understanding and even encouraged me taking a break from everything.
"Doesn't matter girl. You can save it for later. Any hoo. Please tell me you are coming for my dads birthday on Saturday. I'd kill you if you didn't"
Patrick's birthday was on Saturday and it was going to be a grand event since he was Turing 60. You know what that means , another night of fake smiles to people who admired their golden couple. To me this party was just another reminder that he has age another year without a grandchild. Just great!
" of course. I'm coming with mason. I'd hear it from your mum if I didn't come this time."
When I dint show up for Vivians 50th birthday 2 years ago, she immediately taught I didn't come because I was pregnant and was already showing and didn't want to announce to the public. Urghh. I need a break
"Oh yeah she will. She went Gaga on you last time."
Scoff. Tell me about it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wohooo three chapters in one night. I'm on a roll
Ughh let Hope breathe please!!
So what do you guys think. Don't forget to tell me all your thoughts
Till we meet again
Bimpe💕
YOU ARE READING
When love hurts
RomanceHope and Mason Two opposite worlds crashed in a marriage Don't get it wrong. They aren't in an arranged marriage nor were they forced to fall in love. They were truly and deeply in love with each other by their will. Once upon a time they were hap...
