Guessing (Charles Xavier)

10. Pain

I'm sorry this has taken so long! Spring sports season has me tired every night but I can promise another update soon. Thank you for your support and patience ❤️ you all are so amazing! Also, sorry if some of the movie dialogue is incorrect- it's been a while since I've watched First Class, and I want this to be my writing, not entirely dialogue from the film 😊

By the time we land the plane, everything is a mess.

Sean had located the submarine by screaming and using that as a sonar substitution, and Erik, with Charles's help, managed to pull the submarine out of the water and drop it onto the nearby beach. As a result, Hank had to maneuver the plane around the levitating submarine and we ended up landing not-so-gently on the beach, next to the submarine.

Charles gives out orders to the team, and I watch as he stands in the doorway of the plane, fingers on his temple and expression twisted into one of concentration. "I can't locate him," he tells Erik and me. "Something's blocking me."

I'm useless in the situation, so Erik and Charles talk out a plan where Erik goes into the submarine and Charles guides him through until he reaches the mindblock so Erik can shut it off and let Charles back in. There's something about Erik that's slightly off, but I just attribute it to a combination of anger and adrenaline, even though I doubt it. Still, everyone's wired today.

"Haven?"

"Yeah," I say, standing up from my seat. My fingers scramble to the zipper on my chest to tug it upwards a few more times.

"As I walk Erik through, can you keep a protective force around him? We don't want him hurt."

"I got it."

Erik makes his way across the sand quickly but agilely. Charles has his fingers on his temple, looking out the broken doorway of the plane so he can watch as Erik goes into the submarine. I just sit down- I don't need to see Erik in order to protect him. The training has made me able to just sense a person's presence and through a force around them.

I know Charles is focusing because he starts talking out loud to Erik as well as mentally. He only seems to do that when he's nervous or doing something important. I don't pay attention to the instructions he's saying to Erik- all of my focus is on building and maintaining the force field around him.

I'm so focused on my task that I don't realize that Charles has lost signal with Erik until he sits down on the floor of the plane, mussing his hair up in defeat.

"You still have him?"

"I do."

"Can you talk while you protect him?"

Suddenly I feel a wave of nausea crash across my consciousness, as if someone is threatening the force field. I can feel the pressure against it in my mind, but it's not painful- I just feel sick.

"I'm not sure if I can talk, but I'd greatly appreciate it if you would, and I'll try to keep up a conversation as long as nothing goes too wrong," I breathe out.

"You don't look too good."

"I know, I don't feel too good either."

"You have my compete faith," Charles says from behind me. I can feel his breath on my shoulder like gossamer butterflies on my skin. It manages to distract me from the chaos inside my mind, until another wave, this time of pain, hits me again.

"Hey, hey. You're okay," he tells me, rubbing my back. I can hear the worry in his voice but I trust him. "You're so much stronger than you think yourself to be."

But at the moment, I feel anything but strong. My hands are shaking and even keeping my eyes closed is difficult. Something is trying extremely hard to break past me, something even stronger than Erik's magnetic force.

I feel something smash against my consciousness, and I cradle my head in pain right as Charles leaps up from next to my, hand back on his temple.

"And he's back!" He exclaims. I manage to raise my head to see him standing at the doorway of the plane again. A breeze sweeps into the plane, and Charles's hair flutters in response, strands of brown blown back. "Erik," he says out loud, "keep doing whatever you're doing. It's working."

The pressure against me is suddenly lifted.

"I can't hold a man like him for much longer," he says in a strained voice. He has just freezes Shaw. There's a few seconds of tension before he speaks again. "Haven."

I run up to his side. It hurts to see him struggling, but there's absolutely nothing I could do to help him. "Haven," he repeats, "I believe he's going to kill Shaw."

"I know."

"But I can't let go and unfreeze him, because then Shaw will kill Erik. It's a double-edged sword, unless you can protect Shaw while I protect Erik from him."

So I take my stance besides him, building another force around Shaw's presence. Charles's hand slides back into mine, but we're gripping each other's fingers like clinging to life.

The slow, menacing pain comes back to me. It's like a migraine of nails-on-chalkboard burrowing itself inside of the tissue of my brain. Charles isn't doing much better besides me.

"I can't do it, I can't do it."

"You can, Haven."

"He's gonna die," I say. "He's gonna fucking die! Because I can't hold on-"

"He's not going to die, it's okay," Charles attempts to reassure me, but something is cutting through my mind, trying to severe my connection.

Erik.

Shaw may be the enemy, but he's still a mutant, and I don't think I could bear killing him, even though he destroyed Erik in the war. I'm not here to kill people. I'm here to save lives.

I feel something slam into my force field, and, with a pop, I lose all control of my powers. Charles is screaming in pain in front of me, and I feel as if I'm having open brain surgery, no anesthesia.

This could be the death of Shaw. This could be the death of me.