Guessing (Charles Xavier)

14. Time

3k? You all are crazy- and I love you! I'm sorry about the slow and short updates! I'll try to be better, promise. Thanks for everything ❤️❤️❤️

You lose track of time when it has no meaning anymore. It's been almost a year since I've seen Charles, or Hank, or Alex. Or any of them.

I'm living back with Francesca now, and it's... Boring, I guess. I don't hurt anyone, which is good. But I'm not saving anyone either. I got a tutoring job at a school, so I earn a pretty nice living now. Francesca's the same, peppy girl, and her attitude always makes me smile. She's one thing that hasn't changed.

I miss him.

He might not miss me, but I sure as hell do miss him. The way he could look at me with those oceans of eyes and seem to feel everything I did; his constant faith in me; the way he knew what to say, when, and how.

I don't think that he's back in the UK. I don't think he'll come and look for me, because he knows that I'm not that kind of girl to do something that I don't mean. I meant to leave him, and I mean to stay away.

As hard as it may be.

However, Francesca keeps talking to me about going to New York for a holiday, so I know that he's still watching me, even if it's through my roommate.

"What about during the summer?" Francesca asks, stirring a cup of tea. "It won't be too expensive. I have my money saved from waitressing, and you have yours from teaching. We haven't gone on a holiday yet, it's about time that we take a break."

"I still have to teach," I say dryly.

"You haven't taken a day off in forever! You even work on Saturdays. I know that we still have to be flat mates, but we have more than enough money for a trip. Haven't you seen those magazine photos of the New York skyline? Maybe we'll meet some guys at a pub-"

"No," I sigh. "Sorry, Fran. You can go on your own."

"Haven," she whines. "Please."

"What are we even gonna do in New York?"

"Shop. Drink. Sleep. Eat. Have fun."

"We do that here just fine," I say.

"Come on. You're always so damn uptight."

"If we go," I start slowly, choosing my words. "If we go, we are staying in the city, and in the city only. No Westchester County. No Salem Center."

"Why would we ever go there? I only want to see the city," Francesca says dreamily. "So we can go?"

"I guess-"

"I'm booking the tickets! We can leave in three weeks, once summer holidays come around!"

I drop myself on the sofa in our flat and cannot decide if I made a good and harmless decision, or something that's gonna break me all over again.

There's a stupid thrill that goes through me when I know that I'm gonna be close to Charles again. I don't want to feel it, but it's still there.

I'm still in love.

And I'm still afraid of hurting him. As Francesca washes her cup in the kitchen right next to the living room, I lie down and try to stop thinking.

New York, New York.