Guessing (Charles Xavier)

19. Future Decisions

Hey guys! I'm finally back- school is out for me and my summer job is pretty laid back, so I'll start updating this and Something About You more often now. Thanks for all the support, and stay awesome! Sorry for the wait!

I've been waiting forever.

I've been waiting forever to walk down a street with Charles's hand tucked neatly in mine, and it feels like a statement I'm making to everyone. I finally did it. I finally got the guy.

The only issue is that we are both in no condition to be in a relationship.

He's practically a drug addict, and we've both given up our mutations, which was the most treasured part of me during the last time I was in New York- we've given up one of the biggest parts of ourselves and we're afraid to get it back. I'm afraid to be myself because all it has done is hurt people. But all of this is so easy to forget when he's next to me.

Then there's the fact that I can't stay here in America. I have a life, with Francesca, and it's back in Cambridge. It's across the ocean and I don't know what I'd do in New York. The mutant school failed after a while, and Charles is practically being brought up by Hank, who is working at the Albany College of Pharmacy as a researcher during the day, then waits tables at night so he can support the two of them.

There's no easy way out.

"Haven," Charles says, looking at me in that way that makes me doubt everything in the world except for him. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me what you're thinking."

I pause, because I don't want to tell him exactly what's on my mind. We can't talk about that yet. "You," I say instead, and it's still an honest answer. "I'm thinking of you."

He smiles but it doesn't really reach his eyes. "You can't stay, can't you?"

"No."

"Do you want to?"

"Of course I do."

He squeezes my hand a little tighter. "Then that's all I care about."

We walk back to the mansion and Francesca is there, looking visibly more put together than I do. She's changed clothes and brushed her hair. Hank seems to be trying to keep her occupied, but when he sees us he nervously rushes up.

"Does she know? Because I've been trying to talk to her but it's quite hard to talk to someone when you don't know what you can or cannot say."

"She doesn't know anything," I say. "The two of us should get going anyways. I can't look like a harlot all day long."

"You look fine, love." Charle comments, and I smile before letting go of his hand.

"Hey, Francesca!"

"Haven!" She exclaims, popping up. She gives me a quick hug and looks at Charles for a bit, trying to figure out where she has seen him before. "Aren't you... Raven's brother? You went to Cambridge, too?"

"That's right."

"You look... Wow, er, different. How's Raven?"

Charles's body visibly stiffens and he refuses to meet Francesca's eyes.

"She's traveling," I tell her quickly.

"Right," Hank adds in. "Finally saved a bit of money after we moved here, and now she's traveling."

"That sounds fantastic, but when she comes back, tell her I miss her for me, won't you? Now, Haven, why don't we get you changed? We have to see the Statue of Liberty."

"Alright," I say. "Thank you, Hank. It was good to see you again, Charles."

I let Francesca lead me to the cab that is waiting for us, but not before giving Charles one quick peck on the lips.

"This is our hotel," I say softly. I hand a napkin with the address and room number scribbled on it. "I love you."

"I love you."

The car horn blares. "Get in, Haven!"

I turn to Hank. "I'll see you around, Hank."