Home is You

Chapter 7

Steffy:

I roll over and look at my phone to see the time again for the fifth time tonight. My mind has been racing all day, and has slowly become worse since I've laid down. I throw my phone back down on the nightstand in frustration, before sliding out of bed. I wrap my robe around myself before looking back down at Liam. It took him awhile to settle down too, but he eventually drifted off to sleep, and lucky for him has actually stayed asleep.

I quietly exit the room and go into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot. Today, is the day that Liam is going to see the neurologist to start the process of figuring out what is wrong with him.

The past couple weeks since telling me, he's done a pretty good job at masking his feelings, and the turmoil that he is clearly in. The kids haven't noticed much, but I am able to see so deeply behind his brown eyes into his soul to know that he is being tormented by the unknown thoughts, and of the what could be thoughts. I've tried to hide my own thoughts and feelings, because I know they can't be as hard as his.

Liam has been walking around like a ghost. As if he's there but he's not there. He is going through the motions but his mind is in a completely different place. Even, on our intimacy level, he's there, but not really there.

We've had more sex than I can possibly imagine. It's not the making love, it's sex. I know it's been that way, because he's fighting the demons about the unknown. He holds all his anger and sadness over what could be all day, before using our sex life as an outlet. I don't mind, and I even welcome it, but it's not all that intimate, and I miss the soft, slow, sensual, intimacy of our making love. I miss him being present with me. I hope and pray that whatever the diagnosis is that he doesn't shut me out.

I am drinking my coffee a little while later, when Liam comes out of the room. His hair is tousled, and he is rubbing his eyes. He is wearing sweat pants and a white undershirt that hugs his body in all the right places. It's an easy view of his six pack. My eyes immediately dip to where his sweats hang on his hips, and the small opening above where his sweats aredoesn't quite touch his white shirt. The start of his V crease is easily visible. I lick my dry lips at the sight of him. I don't understand how one man could be so hot, especially when he has literally just rolled out of bed. He is my very own Sex God.

"Good Morning Baby," he yawns giving me a small smile as he heads over to the cupboard for a coffee mug.

"Good Morning," I reply as I watch him pour a cup of coffee.

"What you couldn't sleep?" Liam asks me taking a sip of his fresh hot coffee before sitting across from me at the dining room table. He grabs my hand and squeezes it. "You are never up this early."

"No, I couldn't sleep," I confess. I tossed and turned for a while, I would drift off for a bit before waking up again. I finally had enough. Figured, I'd get up and maybe get some work done since I'm not going in to the office today."

Liam gives me a puzzled look. "Wait, why aren't you going into the office?"

"Liam, your doctor's appointment is today. I certainly can't go into the office. I want to come with you to see the doctor and see what he has to say."

"Steffy, it's okay, I'm not a child, I can go to the doctor by myself."

I internally shake my head knowing his history and how great he is with going to his doctors. "I beg to differ, Mr. Spencer," I smile lightening the mood. "Besides, I want to hear it myself."

"Steffy please—"

"Liam, just humor me, okay?"

"Okay," he relents. He looks over at the clock on the wall before looking back at me. My appointment is at 11:30, so if you want or need to go to the office for a bit, you can go. I can pick you up from there."