Home is You

Chapter 36

Liam:

I lay in my bed, with Steffy in my arms. She is turned away from since she cried my name from her orgasm. She collapsed into the bed seconds later, as I wrapped my arms around her and snuggled close to her. I whispered how much I loved her, would always love her and how there wasn't a moment of our life that I regretted. I told her that she was my dream come true and I wouldn't trade our memories for anything. I wouldn't change one thing.

Everything was perfect mere minutes ago, between us. Once again, it was soul crashing, intimately beautiful. I kissed, licked and nibbled every part of her body, leaving more marks that I did before. I will always remember what her face looked like, as her orgasm took over her. I took full advantage of her knowing it'll never be again. I'm going to miss this more than I ever thought was possible.

I move my face into the back of her head, breathing her in, trying to hold onto any of the connection between us. I heard her weeping, trying to hold it in, in order to not make me feel any worse than I do. I know she is feeling the same way that I am. I know she can't speak in fear of breaking down. She is trying remain strong. I know that there is nothing that I can do to comfort her, without relenting or bringing on my own tears. Hurting her is the last thing that I ever wanted to do.

I kiss her hair. "I love you Steffy," I finally breathe, breaking the quietness.

Steffy sniffs shifting in bed. "I should go," she says cool, shifting in order to sit up. She takes the sheet to cover herself, making sure not to reveal anymore to me. She stands up to get dressed and get the rest of her stuff together.

"Uh, I hope you don't mind," she says wiping the tears from her eyes. "I hope you don't mind me taking the clothes," she says coolly as she picks them up from the floor.

I know she's being cool to me, because she's trying to remain strong.

"Of course, Baby. You take whatever it is that you need."

She nods, "Thank you, it's just the clothes. I'm going to get changed," she says almost in a whisper, looking back at me once more, before disappearing down the hallway.

I fall backwards on the bed as emotions rush through my mind. I'm going to miss her so much. I just wish we could stay in this moment forever. It used to be simple, but it is long past that. I grab my boxers, before pulling up my sweatpants, and throwing my shirt on. I am out in the kitchen minutes before Steffy arrives.

I watch her slowly begin to pick up the rest of her belongings and gather them up in her arms. She lingers with each item, exhaling shakily before moving onto the next item. I know I've destroyed her and I hate myself for it. I lick my lips, barely able to control my sadness, as I grip with what is happening right before my eyes. I feel enormous pain in my heart, almost worse than when I left Steffy. I feel like I am dying all over again and there is nothing I can do to save myself. I've worked so hard this year to overcome Steffy and prepare for life without her, trying to move on, for it all to crash and burn the second I laid eyes on her again. Being with her it was as if we were never apart. I ruined all the progress that I've made, and all the healing I've done.

Steffy walks over to me, taking small steps as if to slow down time to the goodbyes. She looks lost, like a ghost. She looks like; if you blew on her she would topple over instantly. She looks as if I've sucked whatever life she had left in her.

What seems like an eternity, she finally reaches me. She reaches her hand up to touch my face, slowly caressing it, rubbing her thumb through my scruff. Even with my heart breaking, I can't help but groan.