Only Friends

Chapter 30 - Christmas

Jill and I decided, before our holiday with Kristie and Sam, to go to the Netherlands for Christmas. I had been to Holland before, and I loved it. The atmosphere, the people, the food, and the scenery was beautiful. The Netherlands has a rich history that always had interested me, before even meeting Jill.

Jill grew up in a town called Oldenzaal, which is in East Holland, on the border with Germany. So, on the 23rd of December, a couple days after the secret santa, Jill and I headed to Oldenzaal to spend Christmas with her family.

When we arrived in Holland, in the town Jill grew up in, it was surreal. It was the epitome of a European town. It was quant, and small, and had all the characteristics I imagined. When we got to Jill's house, her parents greeted us. Due to covid, I had never met Jill's parents before in person. I had talked to them quite frequently on facetime and when Jill phoned them, but they had never personally met me.
"Dag!" Jill's mother said as she opened the front door. She rushed to give Jill a hug as she hadn't seen her daughter in over a year.
"Mama, dit is India," Jill said, in dutch.
"Hello, India!" Jill's mother said, coming over and giving me a hug and kiss on the cheek. "I hope Jill has been good," she said, in broken English with a strong dutch accent.
"My parents have bad English," Jill said to me as we walked through the front door.
"It's ok. I can't talk, my dutch is awful."

After we had a quick cup of tea with Jill's parents and Jill and them had caught up and talked about all the town problems and gossip, we went to put our luggage in Jill's room.
"So this is the room you grew up in?" I said to her, sitting on her bed.
"Yeah," she said awkwardly.
"It's cute!" I said, standing up and giving her a hug. "It's very you!" She had lots of trophies and medals, and her walls were filled with soccer posters and framed jerseys that had been signed.
"I've kinda outgrown it," she said, kissing the top of my head.
"Your childhood room is always a keepsake though. Mine at home hasn't been touched since I left it," I said to her, thinking about how much I missed my room at home and my family.
"We should try to go to Australia soon," she said to me.
"Not unless we want to do the stupid 14 days in a hotel," I said back.
"Well, I promise you," she started to say, "when they open back up, we'll be the first on the plane." I leant up and kissed her, so entranced by her confidence and certainty. She makes me feel whole.
"I love you," I said to her.
"Love you more."

We spent the next couple days at Jill's childhood home. I'd always wanted a European Christmas, snuggled up by the fireplace drinking hot chocolate. Living in Australia, you only have the stinking hot summers which are fun, but not the same.
"It's so weird having a cold christmas," I said to Jill and her family as we sat around the dinner table on Christmas Eve.
"What's Australia like at Christmas?" Jill's dad, Rene, asked me.
"It's very hot," I replied back, "and we usually go to the beach or swim in the pool."
"Wow," Jill and her mother both said.
"That sounds like a dream," Rene said.
"It is, in a way. Many people don't get the whole Australian christmas."
"I don't know how I would feel being hot on christmas!" Jill said, and everyone laughed.
Her family, although more polite than mine (maybe because we are Australian or maybe because that is just how my family is), are very sweet and welcomed me into their home.

Jill taught me all the Dutch Christmas traditions such as leaving wooden shoes outside instead of hanging stockings, and making ginger nuts and wreath cookies. I felt as if Jill was in her element. She was confident in what she was doing. I also loved hearing her speak Dutch to her parents and although I could only understand snippets, she just felt so fluent. Many times Jill has to ask me what certain words are in English, so it felt balanced when I had to ask her.

On Christmas Eve, Jill and I were in bed, watching some netflix.
"Are you excited for Christmas?" I asked her, as I hugged into her, my head resting on her chest and her arm wrapped around my shoulders.
"I'm excited to spend it with you," she replied back. I kissed her and I felt the happiness bubble within me. Although I miss my family, especially my Dad, I knew I felt at ease with her.
I messaged my family before going to sleep. It was eleven at night here, so they most likely would already be awake.

Indi: Facetime before I sleep?

Not even two seconds later, my phone starts buzzing with a call from my mum.
"Merry Christmas!" I said to her as her face showed up on the screen.
"Christmas Eve to you!" My brother, Luke, shouted from off screen.
"Mum, get Luke on the camera, I want to say hi properly."
"Luke, come here!" Mum shouted to Luke, who was sitting, patiently, under the Christmas tree.
"Hi Indi. Hi Jill." Luke said this with annoyance, not because he didn't want to say hi, but rather because he wanted to start opening his presents.
"Lucas!" I said, jokingly, "give some more love to your sister please!"
"Hi my precious older sister, how is the lovely land of europe?"
"It is very nice thank you, how is boiling australia?"
"Can't tell, we got the aircon on!" He retorted.
"He just wants to open presents," Mum said, talking to both Jill and me.
"Where's dad?" I asked her, keen to talk to my Dad. Although I love my Mum, dearly, my Dad and I have always had this special connection. This untouchable bond that could never be broken.
"He is coming. John!" Mum called out, "Indi is on facetime." I heard footsteps rushing to the phone.
"Merry Christmas!" I said to my Dad as he came into the camera.
"Merry Christmas, my love, how is everything?" He asked me, so solemnly.
"Well, Jill and I are about to go to bed before we wake up to our own Christmas tomorrow. How are Christmas lunch preparations going? Are you doing the barbeque this year?" I asked him.
"Yes. Uncle Steve did it last year, and it was horrendous, so I decided I wanted a decent Christmas lunch."
"Are Uncle Steve and Hattie and the kids coming over?" I asked. Uncle Steve is my Dad's brother, and Hattie is his wife. My cousins, although younger than me, are around the same age as Luke. I was born first, and my parents had Luke when I was five. They always say he wasn't an accident, but I'm not sure. Sometimes I think they wanted only one kid. I don't blame them - I was a nightmare as a child!
"Yes, all of them, so we are going to have a full house!" Dad said, anxiously but excited.
"Well, I miss you guys," I said to both of them.
"We miss you so much darling," Dad replied.
"Jill and I were talking that when the borders open, we will be the first on the plane." I turned the phone to Jill and she nodded.
"Well we would love to have you guys, whenever it's possible. And we want to meet you Jill! In person, not over silly facetime.
"Me too," Jill said to them, smiling.
"Loved watching all your games, Indi. You were playing very well," Dad said, smiling proudly, "and you too Jill!" He added at the end.
"Thanks Dad. I heard a little rumour that Lucas wasn't playing too bad at the moment," I said cheekily.
"We have been practicing his kicking in the park," Dad replied, smiling. Luke followed in Dad's footsteps and decided to pursue AFL. Luke, apparently, has grown up a lot since I last saw him and, from what Dad told me, has turned into a very good player.
"I've loved watching your videos, India," mum said, in reference to my We Play Strong vlogs, "I love seeing what you get up to!"
"Indi's a natural," Jill said, laughing. I gave her a slight nudge, laughing too.
"Thanks Mum. Well, I'll leave you guys to it, to let Luke open his gifts! Thought a sixteen year old would have more patience!" I said, jokingly. "Well, I love you guys."
"Love you to my darling girl. I miss you so much." Dad said.
"Love you Indi!"
"Bye, love you all," I said, ending the call. Whenever I phone my parents, I am reminded of how much I gave up to move away from home so young. Luke is going to be able to live with Mum and Dad for many more years, not having to worry about living alone. Whereas, football, although I love it, made me give up that feeling of normalcy.
"You okay?" Jill asked me, as I turned my phone off.
"Yeah," I said, "I just sometimes think about everything I had to give up, for football." She looked at me, and tucked some of my hair behind my ears.
"I think about that too," she said, sympathetically, "and we can only imagine that. I am thankful for football though, because it gave me you." I smiled when she said that, and I turned to face her.
"Well, I am grateful for football too, because it gave me you." I kissed her, and it made all my doubts and worries float away because I got to spend Christmas with the one person in the world who usually made me feel whole. 
So why did I still feel broken?