Only Friends

Chapter 40 - Brazil

After the crazy signing period in May, all was settled by June. The Matilda's were set to play a few games against Brazil late June, but we were to be given a break for July and August. As Sam, Hayley, Caitlin, the rest of the Matilda's and I started to prepare for our matches against Brazil, the European teams started to prepare for the Euros. 

The Euros were to be held in England this year, and all the European girls were ecstatic to play in another big competition. In 2017, the Netherlands won. I remember watching it on the tv in 2017 with Sam and Caitlin. We were on tour at that point, playing Canada in Vancouver. I was also in the middle of studying for my school exams that I would have to retake when I returned to Sydney. So, as Caitlin and Sam cheered at the tv, I was stuck on my computer, writing notes and doing assignments. At that point, my mental health was very bad. I was always covering my arms, so stressed and would constantly take that out on my body. My 16-year-old self hated it all. But only felt free on the soccer pitch.

Although Jill and the rest of the Dutch team felt the pressure to win the Euros again, they were up for it. They wanted to go for the double, and I believed that they could. With all my heart.

Before Jill went into camp, I had to say goodbye. I probably won't see her for a month. But, I tried to think of this as practice for next season.
"I'm going to miss you," I said, hugging her tight as she was about to leave to fly to Holland for camp.
"I'm going to miss you more," she said back to me, kissing the top of my head. She then cupped my face in her hands and kissed me hard on the lips. I wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her closer. When we broke apart, I rested my forehead on hers, closing my eyes and breathing deeply.
"I'll be back before you start playing," I said, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ears.
"I'll save you a spot," she said, smiling.

As she walked out the door, I could only imagine what goodbyes were going to feel like when she would start to play for a different club.

The Matilda's left for Rio in the middle of June, a couple days after Jill left for camp. I picked up Sam and Caitlin, in my car, and drove to the airport. Whenever I drive us three, Sam always sits in the front, and Caitlin in the back. It has become tradition, and we always joke that we are all very routined people. Despite me picking up Caitlin first today, Sam still ends up in the front.
"How's Kristie?" Caitlin asked Sam as we were in the car.
"She's good. She's playing Mexico I think but will come over to London afterwards."
"Are you gonna feel left out?" I added in, talking to Sam.
"Yeah, me, Kristie and Indi will all be playing against you. Loser!" Caitlin added in.
"Don't remind me! Literally, jealous is an understatement. But it's okay, we will beat you guys anyways."
"Not a chance!" I retorted and we all laughed, amused at how easy our banter turns funny.

As we arrived at Heathrow, the rest of the girls were waiting for us.
"Finally," Alanna said, "the late arrivals have finally decided to show up!"
"Indi is just the slowest driver," Sam replied, laughing.
"Hey! Not my fault Sam took 20 minutes to get out her apartment door!" Everyone laughed, and we moved to drop our bags off and move through the airport.

As we got on the plane, I was meant to sit next to Hayley and Alanna, but I am routined, and sitting next to Sam is tradition.
"Mary?" I said, as we were about to board the plane, "can we swap seats? Please?" Mary Fowler is the cutest person alive, and I felt bad asking her, but I knew she wouldn't say no.
"Of course." I winked at Sam, who smiled back at me.

As we sat in our seats, Sam and I got the airpods out and started listening to our favourite music, mostly 2010 classics that reminded us of our childhood.
The flight was long, and we had a short layover in Lisbon which made it feel even longer. When we finally arrived in Rio, we were exhausted. Thankfully, after nearly 3 years of covid, restrictions to most countries had finally eased, besides Australia. I was still waiting for that one to open.
We were set to play two matches against Brazil - one in Rio and the other in Sao Paulo. I was excited to be back in the place I made my debut, nearly seven years ago.

The night before our match, I was laying in bed, sharing a room with Sam.
"How are you feeling? About Jill leaving?" She asked solemnly as we both lay awake with the lights off.
"I don't know what to feel, honestly."
"I understand. It's hard."
"I just feel as if we are so connected, even too connected. It'll change everything."
"I'm sure it won't," Sam answered back.
"It's just feels as if I'm holding her back."
"You aren't."
"She didn't leave last year because of me! If that's not holding someone back, I don't know what is."
Sam and I were both silent, before she came onto my  bed and lay next to me, grabbing my hand for reassurance.
"Indi," she started to say, "Jill loves you, so much. I know, Kristie knows it. Everyone does. You need to believe that people can love you." All my life I have felt that I'm not loveable. Why would someone love me? I'm fucked up, with a haunting background. I've had trauma that will follow me around, the rest of my life. Trauma, that I still haven't fully explained to Jill nor even Kristie. More reasons as to why I was, and still partly am, fucked up.
"I just don't know who I am."
"You are India Harrison. The amazing, amazing, India Harrison." Sam gave me one last hug, before going back to her bed. We both fell asleep, trying to prepare for our game against Brazil the next day.

Our first match against Brazil was a stellar game, with both sides playing incredible football. Brazil's star player, Marta, was my duty. I was told to block her out of the game and not let the team feed her. Marta played the most quiet game she had ever played, only having four touches of the ball by half time, and so, she was brought off. Obviously, Brazil had other star players, which led them to having a goal by half time, but their real threat was no longer. Sam scored a double in the first half, allowing us to be leading by half time.

As we walked into the changing room, Tony, our coach, was pleased at how we were playing.
"Amazing work Indi, first time Marta has come off in years!" Everyone gave me a clap, and I blushed slightly. "I want us to go out there, and finish this game, okay?" We all screamed and cheered.

As we returned to the field, I was ready to play more football. By the 60th minute, Caitlin had scored a perfect header, and Sam had completed her hat trick with an assist from me. We jumped up to each other and hugged in the air, completely ecstatic that we had a combination goal.
We won the game 4-1, and it felt as if we were meshing. We had the perfect team. What could go wrong?

After the game, I posted a picture of Sam and I jumping on each other after our combination goal.

indiharrison: An assist to @samanathakerr20... What could be better?

Samanthakerr20: If only you could score ;)

Our second game against Brazil went just as well. We won, easily, 3-0, with amazing goals from Hayley, Alanna, and me. I had the ball outside the box, and smashed it, using my right foot, into the top left hand corner. It felt amazing scoring for your country. It's a different feeling than scoring for your club. There is more pride, more patriotism.

Sam posted on her instagram a picture of the team after my goal, all running up to me.

samanthakerr20: Guess what? @indiharrison actually scored a goal! #proud

Indiharrison: And who didn't score? ;)

Our tour in Brazil was a success, with two wins in the bag going into our long term break. I was excited to have some time off from football. Sam, Kristie and I had all planned to go back to England and watch the Euros, going to many of the games together. My plan was to try and travel to most of the Dutch games, as my friends, Viv and Daan, and obviously Jill were playing.

I facetimed Jill our last night in Brazil, as Sam was sitting on her bed on instagram.
"We will be arriving in England tomorrow night," I said to her.
"You're going to come to the first game right?" She asked me.
"Yeah, of course. Wouldn't miss it. I have my Roord jersey all ready to wear," I replied, grinning.
"It'll look better on you," she said, smoothly.
"You guys are gross," Sam called out, looking out of her phone.
"Have you heard you and Kristie talk?" I said to her, and to that she retreated back to instagram.
"I got you good tickets to the game," she said to me, "somewhere I can find you easily. I also got Sam and Kris tickets."
"Thank you babe."
As we hung up the phone, Sam turned to me.
"You're going to support the Netherlands right?"
"Yeah of course," I said, confused why she would even ask the question. "Who are you going to support?"
"I don't know. I'll cheer Jill on. She deserves it."
"Aw, that's so sweet!"

We turned off the light, and went to sleep, dreaming about returning to England, and watching Jill play with her national team. I want her to win, really badly. It is nice that we don't play in the Euros, as it means I can cheer for Jill, with all my heart.