Only Friends

Chapter 38 - Season's End

The season was officially over, and we had our final training session to wrap everything up. I brought the vlog camera out as Jill and I drove to the fields for training. 
"So, it's our last training for the season. How we feeling Jilly?" I said into the camera, as Jill was focused on driving.
"A little sad," she said.
"Well, us soccer nerds are not gonna like being away from training for that long."
"We also will have international duties," Jill added.
"That is true! Jill has the Euros in July and I have some friendlies in June. You excited for the Euros?" I said this to Jill, pointing the camera towards her.
"Yes. I am excited for you to be in the stands," she replied, blushing.
"Anyways, I'll get updates from the girls when we arrive to training."

As we got to the grounds, I found Viv parking her car.
"VIVIANNE!" I called out, smiling. She looked at me, and laughed, giving me a slight wave. I walked over to her with the camera out. "Viv, how are you feeling?"
"Ah, no!" She said, protesting the camera.
"Come on, give the people what they want!" Jill debated, putting her arm around Viv. Jill and Viv have been friends for ages, and when Daan left, I know both of them struggled, for a while. If Jill does leave, I can only grieve for Viv. She will struggle just as much as I will.
"Ok ok," Viv answered, "Sad for the last training but excited for the Euros!"
"Aren't we all!" I said, smiling. "It's even better for me because I get to watch and got no pressure of winning!" I smiled, and closed the camera off.

We walked inside and I saw all the girls in the common room. I pulled the camera out again.
"Hey girls!" I said, panning the camera to show Leah and Jordan sitting together on one couch, Lia and Caitlin on another, and Katie, Beth and Jen on the ground.
"Hey!" They all called out in unison.
"Beffy," I said, going up to Beth and pointing it in her face, "how do you feel about the last training of the season?"
"Sad!" She replied.
"What about you Katie girl?" I asked McCabe, who was sitting beside Beth.
"Excited for a long overdue holiday!"
"Fair enough. Me too!"

As we went out onto the pitch, I had to soak up my last training session with Jill possibly. Last time we would be on the field together, on the same team.

We played a fun game - white verse red. I was on the white team with Lia, Katie, Jordan, Lotte, Viv, Jill and Lydia, and the red team consisted of Leah, Manu, Jen, Steph, Caitlin, Mana, Kim and Anna. We only played 8 against 8, rather than the full eleven, just for more fun.
I was able to link up with Jill quite nicely, remembering why we worked so well together. How we fit so nicely. After two seasons of playing and dating, one of those would end. That chapter may possibly close. I knew in my heart it was certain. It can't not be. She needed it and maybe I did too. Maybe I was getting too settled. Too inside my comfort zone. But is there anything wrong with that? Possibly. I think I realised that I needed to push myself to my limits if I truly wanted to fulfil my dreams and I can't hold that back for Jill.

I assisted Jill for a goal, in the game, from a lovely ball from the left wing. Being left footed, if I'm not at Centre back (which is my preferred position), I normally can slot quite well in the left back or left wing role. She tapped in the cross and scored against the reds, and although it was only a fun game, we still celebrated as we knew it would probably be our last for a while.

As contracts began flying everywhere, trying to make people resign, I was one of the first to do so.
I told Jill, the night before I resigned, that I would be staying on at Arsenal.
"Jilly," I said to her, as we sat on the couch, "I'm resigning with Arsenal." She looked downwards, as if she didn't want to say what's on her mind. "But that doesn't mean you have to. Do you understand? I want you to do what's best for you." She nodded.
"Ok," she replied, "I don't think I'm going to. I think I'm going to look at the other options." Even though I expected it, my heart still sank slightly. I knew it would happen, I did just hope, deep down, that I was wrong.
"Ok," I started to say, going closer to her, and hugging her tightly, "Ok." I rested my chin on her head as my arms wrapped around her body. I kissed the top of her head. She turned and looked at me, bringing her lips to mine. She pressed herself hard against my lips, longing to use them to say the words she can't articulate. That she loves me. I replied by deepening our kiss as to say I love her back.