Guardian Angel

Time to Stop?

The beach is not fun. Hot, humid, noisy. Beam sighed and closed his eyes. He remembered the last time he was at the beach. At that time the beach was hot, humid, and noisy too. However, it was fun.

Beam knew what was missing. Forth. At that time he was on this beach with Forth. Beam heard Wayo and Kit's screams, between Phana and Kit's laughter. Beam sighed again.

Beam remember when Forth dug a shallow ditch around Beam's body lying on the sand. "You are a stranded prince, Baby. This trench contains fire and whoever can pass through this trench, he can be your lover," Forth said as he continued to dig while occasionally kissing Beam's forehead, cheeks, nose, and lips.

"Who are you?" asked Beam lazily. He closed his eyes and let Forth kiss him here and there.

"I am the knight who will pass through the fire and save you. After that I will take you to my castle and make love with you until you give birth to 13 babies for me."

"Why 13?"

"Well, the knights want to make a formidable football team in the kingdom of Jamorhnoom. 11 players and 2 reserves."

Beam opened his eyes and laughed. "You're amazing, Babe."

Forth finished digging. He stood on top of the Beam and tilted his head at his handiwork. Forth crawled around Beam, acting as if he was looking for a way, then, suddenly he jumped on top of Beam, pinning him down.

Beam was surprised by the weight of Forth's body that fell on his body.

Forth smiled at him. Their faces are close together. "Hi handsome prince. I am Poom knight, come to save you."

Beam laughed and wrapped his arms around Forth's shoulders. He lifted his head and kissed Forth's lips. "Well, what are you waiting for? Take me to your castle and make love to me. 13 kids need thousands of penetrations."

Forth laughed and kissed Beam's lips.

Tears welled up in the corners of Beam's eyes. He missed Forth. Time and again, he listened to the recorded conversations in Kenny's room, which the Post had given him.

Conversation between Forth, Posh, Jhon, Doctor Vram, Rui, and Kenny. Ford is innocent. He's just reckless.

His fault in Beam's eyes was, he lied during the process he got caught up in Kenny's game. He didn't tell Beam the truth, instead making vague excuses to break their promise.

Forth says that he doesn't want to make Beam worried and jealous, but for Beam, it means that Forth doesn't trust him enough. For Beam, that meant Forth didn't consider it a priority.

Forth apologized to Beam in many ways and deep in his heart, Beam had forgiven Forth a long time ago, especially after Posh told him what had happened, then he listened to the recording that Posh made at the hospital. However, Beam was afraid.

Beam doesn't like goodbyes. Beam doesn't like being left out. So, he moved first. He left Forth, hoping the pain wouldn't be as bad as when he was faced with the reality, he was the one left behind. However, the pain he was currently feeling was too intense.

Since breaking up with Forth, he has had trouble sleeping. He missed Forth during the day, and the man's presence around him comforted Beam.

Beam always had to struggle to contain his urge to smooth Forth's hair that hung down to his forehead covering his eyes.

Beam had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep him from calling Forth Poom, or Babe, or honey.

Beam had to pinch his own thighs to control himself from grabbing Forth's hand and grasping it.

However, the most unbearable is the moment when he entered the room after Forth had said "Have a good rest, Baby. I love you."

Beam heard Forth's footsteps being dragged from behind the door and he would cry all night long, hugging the pillow Forth used to sleep on, searching for the scent he loved so much while wailing for his Poom. Beam tired.

"Beams." Beam quickly wiped his tears and looked up.

Phana stood next to him, with a bouquet of white tulips and blue hyacinths, and a large plastic bag in the other.

"Yes, Pa?"

"Are you crying?" Phana asked softly. "Miss your Poom?"

Beam smiled weakly and rose from his lying position. He pointed at Phana's belongings. "What's that? You're shopping?"

Phana gave a small smile and thrust everything into Beam's hand. "No. It's all from Forth. For you. Have you checked your phone? He probably texted."

Beam was stunned. Phana stroked his hair gently. "Stop punishing him, Beam. He's done everything he can to make you forgive him, have mercy on him. You're suffering too, because I know you love him very much."

"I'm... scared, Pha," Beam said with watery eyes.

"Don't," Phana cut in quickly. "Don't be afraid of your own feelings or you will miss out on many opportunities to be happy. Forth is the best for you. You are worthy of each other, so stop being afraid and just live with courage."

Beam looked into Phana's brilliant eyes. He smiled. Beam reached for his phone and saw a voicemail.

Beam opened the message and heard Forth's voice. Sounds sad and hoarse. "Baby, I know that my stupidity has messed everything up. I'm sorry, but believe me, I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. I bought you your favorite snack and left it to Phana. I don't dare to approach you, because if I did, I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from wanting to hug you. Have fun, Baby, I'll... Hey! Aarhhh...."

A loud crash drowned out Forth's voice then a loud rustle and then silence. Beam and Phana exchanged glances. Freeze.

*****