You're dead to me

Chapter thirty-five: Don't

Unedited, sorry I was just too lazy to do it today, enjoy;)

When Briar and me arrived home, I made us both a cup of caramel coffee, with a splash of vanilla foam. We sit down on the sofa and I wrap myself under a blanket. "So, I don't see any pictures around here". I look around the living-room and agree, its pretty cold but I like it.

"Does that mean you and Giovanni don't get along?". I just shrug. She narrows her eyes together and flicks her index finger over the cup. "Wait, you haven't made out yet?". I raise an eyebrow at her. "Is that a problem?". She snickers. "No but I mean the way you both hate each other with so much passion makes us others think differently".

"What do you mean?". She smiles lightly and her dark hair rolls over her shoulder. "Giovanni looks at you like you're the only star shining on the firmament". Her eyes start to glistening and I have never seen Briar so full of light. "You might not see it, but he does like you a lot, maybe you should give him a chance". I fall silent. I basically did this one time.

My stomach rumbles loudly, his fingers did a good job. I lick my lips. "I just don't see the need for that. I'm pretty sure he feels the same. We both just are not made for each other". She doesn't reply, that's the good thing about Briar. She never lets you regret your own decision, she hears you out and supports you.

I take a deep breath in. "How is Amira doing?". I ask and observe her. Her cheeks flush up. "She's doing so good, I can't believe that she is growing up so fast".

"She's three, she's going to be a pretty princess". Briar laughs, the laugh that only her daughter owns. "Uhm". I clear my throat. "You don't want to find out who the father is?". She shakes her head.

"I don't know anything about that night, I just know that it felt good and right. I was so passed out, I couldn't even make out his face". I understand her situation.

"What I do know is that he had a tattoo". I lean forward and take another sip from my coffee. "It was on his wrist, very small, but somehow it kinda stucked with me". "Maybe that's how we can find out-".

"No Caroline, he was very young, younger than me. Like I said, I was so drunk that we both didn't even second thought about the age difference. He acted so old and major, maybe that's why I thought he was the same age like me". I press my lips together. She's right, even though he has a right to know about his daughter, whatever Briar could do, she will most likely don't find him, it's a blur for her.

"What did the tattoo look like?". I ask gentle.

She stares at the fireplace. "It was a mountain with a star over the top". I notice how sad she suddenly feels, I reach out for her shoulder. "Hey, its okay. I'm sure if the time is right you'll find him". She stays silent and her eyes fill with tears. "But what if... what if I find him and he doesn't want to meet her?". I stroke her back. I don't know what to say.

I don't want to have kids, but she didn't planned too. "Honestly, I don't really know what to say to you. Amira is a wonderful little girl, nobody would even dare to mistreat her, especially when she has such a lion mother standing behind her". She laughs quietly about my comment.

"Hey, look at me". Eventually she does. "Amira and you are enough for each other, even when he decides to not get to know her, your little girl won't blame you". She nods and wipes her nose.

"And now quit crying, I hate you to see so lost". She slaps my arm playfully and we continue to talk about the old times.

***

After Briar has left, I called my sister and informed her, that I will drive by her company and have a quick interview with Camilla. I just have to know how she could escape and drop the envelope off. I already snuggled into my blanket, when I heard Giovannis car arriving.

A smile escapes my lips and I try to removing it, but somehow it plastered itself on there. I haven't seen him all day and if I am being brutally honest, I have missed him. Just a tiny little bit, but still. Enough to expose myself a bit more and the ice melting.

The front door gets locked up and I hear him undressing himself and getting a bottle of water. Footsteps approach the second floor and suddenly stop at my door. His room is a few steps away from mine, so he surely isn't there yet. My breath gets caught in between my lungs. I see a shadow under my door and his ring, our wedding ring, grazes the door knob loudly. But it doesn't turn, I hear him sigh and then his door shuts shortly afterwards.

I bite my lips nervously, nobody has ever made me that nervous before, nobody but him. I grab the healing creme from my nightstand and run down the hallway, until I reach his room. My fingers entangle together as I quietly slipped into the dark room.

I turn round, facing the bed, but he wasn't there. With a concern look I sneak peak into the bathroom, just to caught him brushing his teeth shirtless in front of the mirror. He has a thinking type of expression plastered on. His brows are frowned together and he stares blankly at one specific spot. After he fell out of his thoughts, he brushed through his hair and spits out the toothpaste. His broad body bends over the sink. And there it is, I grip the creme tighter in my hand and stare at the scar that I have left on his body a while ago.

Make Me

It kinda blends in his skin, but you can still read it clearly. Shameful and exposed, that's how I feel right now. Such a childish act from me. I bite my lips and step back, with my right foot I stumble upon his stuff and fall against his wardrobe.

"Fuck". I quietly curse. Suddenly his body appears in a defending manner in the doorframe. He has a hand on his jeans pocket, where a gun peaks through his fingers. I put up my hands and let the creme fall down to the floor. "Geez, chill out, it's only me". I say with widened eyes.

"What makes you think that I'm not alarmed?".

I cock my head aside. "Mhmm, maybe because I'm your wife". I grin playfully, but he refuses to sound childish. he just looks at me weird. Like he knows something that I don't know, honestly that terrifies me. I looks down to the creme. "For what is that?". His black eyes observe me, patiently waiting for an answer.

I take in a deep breath, he might not understand it what it takes me to be so generous to him. "For you". I squad down, take the creme and point at the bed. "On your stomach". I order. He slowly walks over to the bed and adjust himself in that position. Arms bend forward, what makes his back muscles flex way too seductively.

I follow him and put my knees one either sides of his back. "Don't mind me taking your ass as my seat?". I ask, already rolling down some of the white substance on my fingertip. "I know way better places where you can get comfortable". The way how his voice suddenly drops and the whole room turns a shade darker, makes me clench my thighs together. Damn me. I hear him snickering.

"I thought you wanted to play nurse and not pressing your thighs on my rips". He looks over his shoulder. "Funny". I say stern.

The second the cold creme hits his raw flesh, he tenses, that makes me chuckle. "Aww what a baby you are". His legs go up and in a heartbeat he has swung me on my back. Giovanni hovers over me with one arm holding himself up. "Don't make me do this". He mumbles and all the air is suddenly not enough for me.

*
(A/N): Also what I just discovered, somewhere it said that the tattoos from Sal or the gang, say ventisei. I have completely forgotten that and I don't know if I mixed it up with the snake, or that my notes are just completely trash. So sorry if there is anything that doesn't match, let just stay with the snake tattoo for now.