You're dead to me

Chapter twenty-six: Curse

Giovanni's POV:

After I looked at her a last time again, I drove up to my office. Her diary just stuck with me, I couldn't stop thinking about it and since I got so abruptly chasing away, I need to give it a second try.

I ordered my secretary to bring me a cup of coffee and some little bites. I haven't eaten all day. As the coffee arrives, I already was in my thoughts and barely even registered my secretary. Before she could leave I lift up my head.

"Could you please inform me if any calls or visitors are coming in, I'm working on something really important here". She nods and her beaming smile disappears behind my thick door. I don't want to get interrupted a second time on that.

I grab the coffee cup and swallow some refreshing sips.

February 3,

Got away with it, forced myself to win and did it. Guess father was proud of me, yet another soul has been brutally murdered under my hand. Mother cries often about me, she thinks can't hear it. But, do. She says my childhood got ripped away earlier than it supposed to be, based on my stupidity. Don't know what she means, father says did everything right. Heart feels cold and numb, probably should go and see a doctor. Enough? Enough to someday take over the mafia? Theresia stole my dagger, my favorite one. She said it's enough, so assume it is then. But maybe she talked about my cruelty towards her. Stopped being friendly, outlearned manners. Whatever, business is key, right?

Her last sentences kicks me off, she hasn't changed much since then. Her vision is still blurred out.

Next to the diary I wrote something down. I started taking notes to understand and memorizing everything better.

And now I'm reading my words again and again.

-she stopped writing in her vision; such as like I got away with it, I forced myself...

Was she so blindfolded and couldn't bear it anymore to be herself, was she so dirty from all that blood.

I clutch my hands over my temple and sigh frustrated. I though she would enfold herself as the open book, but the more that I read, the more she goes through every imaginable character. She was twelve or thirteen by the last entrance, I already forgot her birthday, but even if she turned a year older, she still was the same monster inside out.

The night hugs the world closer, when I finally made it to the house. All the blinds were closed and I couldn't see any signs of light. She must've fallen asleep already. I can't blame her, she has been through a lot lately. So to speak, I remember what cost all of this her passing out. A heir. I thought father would wait a while longer, until all of the mafias got used to the allies and so on, before he would worry about the dynasty.

I'm too afraid to tell him that I'm not ready to be a father. I'm only twenty four and Caroline, God bless, just nineteen almost twenty. I lock up the door, I frown. It takes longer to do that. A very unfamiliar feelings pleads through my bones and just when I step in, I race up the stairs to look after her.

I burst open her bedroom door, but the bed hasn't even been touched yet. My heartbeat quickens up and I search the bathroom next. A humid temperature swirls in there and some bubbles were still visible in the huge bathtub near the window. So she has been here. Maybe I'm paranoid.

I try to calm myself down, but fuck, where is she?

My hands begin to search for my phone, as I reach my bedroom. I need to get some weapons, some heavy weapons.

I kick open the door, tempting to call Alessandro and Theresia already, when I see shiny blond hair rapped around one of my pillows. I approach her slowly. Did she switched up the bedrooms on accident. No, she would've notice, even if she was mid passing out. The master bedroom has a way bigger bed and a front window next to it, with view on the entrance.

The blanket is barely covering her body, as she shifts from left to right.

Her legs are circling the bedsheets and I can see that she's dressed in one of my briefs and a large T-Shirt. All my blood starts ripping down and causing major swellings. My shoulders tens and I bend down next to her. Like a spell, I find myself undressing and getting onto the other side of the bed. There wouldn't be a problem with that, because we wouldn't even touch if we don't want to, but my body craves her touch right now.

I curse myself for giving in and wearing my emotions upon my sleeve, but with her, everything feels so different and for one time safe. I remind myself, that this is the women who still try's to kill me, if I stop paying attention to her actions, but I know damn good myself, I stopped a long time ago.

Unfortunately my eyelids go limb and I just feel the cold sheets spreading around my body, as I hit the dreamland.