ataraxia, lorenzo berkshire

"two"

as per usual, the annual event of unpacking took place.

however this time, the atmosphere in the girls dormitory felt more obscure than ever.

it was almost as if envy was threaded into the air, each inhale one took made their face solidify, their eyes glinting with disgust as you passed each girl by.

i felt judged.

clutching my last gathering of belongings in my hand as i walked to my dormitory, the perpetuating stares and sour side-eyes i had received put me in nothing but an insecure state, and a pissy mood.

i yanked my skirt down defensively, wondering wether i was being judged for my physical features, the clothes i was dressed in - it was my school robes, however i'd grown a few inches since the last time i'd tried it on, and my parents couldn't be bothered to get me a brand new, completely tailored uniform fitting.

i passed pansy parkinson, who was listening to music casually, as they strolled past the door to my shared dorm, which was around 10 steps away from me down the hall.

somehow, their attention had been diverted to me during this moment, and i found myself halting in front of them, watching intently as they yanked her earphones out of their ears, and cocked their eyebrow at me as if they were waiting for me to inform them about something.

"sorry," i quickly said, apologising as if i had done something immorally out of order - which i'm pretty sure i hadn't, but it's a habit.

apologising for things i didn't do.

"what are you sorry about? i actually wanted to speak to you." pansy replied, a smile graciously spread across their tanned skin, their short, styled black hair complimenting their facial features.

they were incredibly pretty - however, they had to be.

for someone who has slept with mattheo riddle, theodore nott, and draco malfoy has to be somewhat decently attractive, or else, they'd all act like you didn't even exist.

because you simply didn't.

not to them.

not if you weren't appealing to look at. the sick reality of teenage boys and who they deem deserving of their empty-intended attention.

"so, im throwing a party tonight in the girls dormitory common room, because of the new year, you know? that whole, 'new year, new me!' bullshit." they began, tucking strands of astray hair behind their ears, i couldn't help but notice the amount of exotic piercings they had embedded like jewels encrusted on a crown within their skin.

"i just thought it would be fun, you know?"

- "yeah, that sounds great. i'll be there." i replied, sending them a friendly smile, however my wrist began to ache, prickles of exhaustion puncturing my skin, as i noticed i was still awkwardly holding my bag of stuff.

"great! i'll see you around." they added, before implanting their earphones and continuing down the corridor.

<>

"there's a party tonight," i informed onyx, who was splayed across her bed in her matching pyjama set, aloe vera strips under her eyes, and space-dividers between her freshly-painted toenails. she was occupying herself by reading muggle fashion magazines she found littered on the train station platform.

"oh, we're definitely going." she sat up suit to my sentence, placing down the magazine, and sliding the aloe vera strips from underneath her eyes.

"how come you're so desperate? we've been on a train for four hours, and i just finished lugging up five bags of belongings up ten flights of stairs. i'm exhausted." i complained, tossing my belongings beside my closet and throwing myself onto the cushioned embrace of my poster-bed.