ataraxia, lorenzo berkshire

"forty six"

Fuck, do i hate potions.

Normal people potions are called cocktails, but Merlin decided otherwise - cranberry juice and vodka just simply isn't good enough.

You need a fucking unicorn horn and the hair from a mountain troll to feel the same effects instead.

"Jesus, val!" Theo quickly grabbed my limp hand and yanked it off the desk, that was now being actively corroded - because I forgot to watch the temperature of the mixture under the Bunsen and the test tube exploded.

"Are you serious, Val?" Blaise rushed over also, helping Theo clean up, what was, the remainders of the desk - now a colossal hole in the middle of it, emitting a putrid smell along with wisps of thick black smoke and the occasional bubble.

I was too mentally vacant to notice Snape's glare from the front of the classroom, along with a curt shake of his head. Disappointment.

That's all Valentina had been experiencing lately, and she was absorbing this like a sponge within water.

She was beginning to disappoint herself.
And her professors too, apparently.

I came to, flinching my hand out of Theo's grip at least ten seconds too late.

"Shit, I'm sorry." I sighed, bending down to pick up the splinters of glass that had dispersed all over the classroom floor, "-I don't know why I keep fucking up."

I do, actually.

Looks like the potion and me both had something in common.

Because I could feel my blood congealing until, if it was possible, it felt like I could also explode.

My body feels like it's made of glass, vulnerable.
Like everyone can see straight through me.

Like I might shatter at any second.

"Val, I think you should skip last period and get some rest." Theo placed a hand gently upon my shoulder, his thumb running over my collarbone, "You're not acting yourself."

"I agree," Blaise nodded in worrisome as he lingered behind Theo - peering over his shoulder - his brows slightly furrowed.

I huffed defeatedly, knowing that for once, they were probably right.

"Alright, I'll go rest." I leant down to scoop up my bag from the floor, slinging it over my shoulder, "Are we still on for tonight though?"

"At our dorm? Yeah." Theo nodded enthusiastically, "We'll see you later, then."

I hummed, pushing my stool beneath the now-partial desk with a metallic scrape and grabbing my bag.

"Later."

-

"Nothing feels normal, Xan." Clenching my jaw as his nickname toppled off the tip of my tongue, "I don't know how to explain it - any of it."

Xander, who was sat opposite the girl while they attempted to study in the library as their exams quickly approached, craned his head upwards from the pages of his book.

"I understand, Valentina." He muttered, the softness of his pronunciation almost dulling the drilling, mechanical buzz of the outdated ceiling lights as they crackled above them.

"Everything's changed." I twirled my quill skittishly between my fingers, the excess ink stored in its tip now scattering across my textbooks and papers in little azure droplets - like the sky had started to liquidate, and begun to fall.

"You mean Lorenzo's changed." He unashamedly dictated, knowing that my 'everything' equated to 'Lorenzo'.

I nodded.