ataraxia, lorenzo berkshire

"thirty two"

"how did this even happen?," onyx paced back and forth in my dorm, my teeth painfully peeling off the excess of my nails destructively out of anxiousness as i'd made the rather stupid decision so share that i'd given (blessed) lorenzo berkshire head last night.

"-like, i knew something was going to happen between you two; everyone could practically smell the stench of sexual frustration between you two," she paused from her pacing for a moment, pressing her fingertips to either sides of her temples, "-i just wasn't ready for it."

"onyx," i whined, shielding my embarrassment within my scruffy hair, who was deprived of the basic need of being brushed for a good twelve hours, as once i'd blessed lorenzo's dick i made the smart decision to pause and go back to my dormitory to sleep for the rest of the evening.

"- why is it that whenever i do something sexual with a guy, all my friends struggle to grasp that reality?," i sighed, banging my head against the surface of my vanity desk, as if colliding my forehead roughly against a slab of oakwood would relieve my problems by bashing them out of my brain.

"because," onyx began, rushing over to where i was slumped over my vanity stool in an unattractive lump, hunched over my desk, "-when theo tried to kiss you in fourth year, you started hyperventilating because you thought that meant you'd lose your virginity."

theo tried to kiss me in fourth year?

"give me a break, when your grandparents are heavily and strictly religious, they make out that simply breathing incorrectly makes you eligible to burning for an eternity in hell and have torturous tea parties with a little red man with horns and a tail." i explained, frustrated that everyone around me saw me as the frigid friend, the one incapable of going past second base with a guy.

how embarrassing.

"there was this one time, when my grandmother walked in on me playing with my dolls in my room and the guy doll was shirtless-,"

"- okay, that's enough." onyx turned away from me, walking over to her side of the bedroom and beginning to lay out her uniform for the day.

i frowned.

"-hardest ass whooping ive ever experienced in my life." i mumbled under my breath, quite literally having flashbacks as my entire body shuddered at the thought of having to feel the flat side of a solid-wooden cricket bat hit against the backs of your thighs with significant force.

"anyways." onyx continued on, "i think you and lorenzo would be great, you know? i mean, what have you got to lose? you've already openly and drunkenly admitted to all of us that he fucked you a few days ago, and that you had an amazing orgasm too."

"-shut the fuck up." i spoke quickly, immediately arising from my hunchback state and padding over to the bathroom, "i don't want anything with him. sure, he's hot and fits the 'childhood best friends to lovers' clique but he's awful with commitment, extremely emotionally manipulative, and quite literally can't keep his dick in his pants, because it was down my throat yesterday!," 

i snapped, exasperated as i slid my hands slowly over my face, dragging down my features, distorting them as i came to terms with me and lorenzo's now extremely.. sophisticated new circumstances in our friendship.

"lord." onyx huffed, raising her eyebrows her eyes widening suit.

-

"-so, how's lorenzo?," theo and draco strolled alongside me, draco having his hands balled up in the depths of his pockets whilst kicking the astray stones on the gravel of the schools courtyard as we walked.