ataraxia, lorenzo berkshire

"twelve"

".. and then we made out!" i said, still struggling to process the unexpected turn of events that happened merely minutes ago.

onyx was sat cross-legged on her bed, her mouth agape. worry was curdling at the pit of my stomach, as i couldn't successfully read what her expression meant.

shock, happiness, anger?

onyx looked like she'd witnessed me fucking a ghost, her eyes almost as wide open as her jaw during this moment.

for after lorenzo left, i'd told her everything. from the argument that started out, to him making out with me.

and by the looks of it, she seemed to be feeling the exact same emotions i did.

"..okay."

"okay?" i repeated her choice of words slowly, nervously, as i could tell she was thinking carefully about what to say next, wether i'd get a strict scolding or a congratulatory celebration because i'd finally gotten with someone after i broken up with my ex.

"i wasn't expecting that."

of course you weren't, onyx.

me and lorenzo have an extremely distant relationship, of course you'd have no clue.

"i know, i wasn't expecting it either. he just came into my room, told me how he wasn't into relationships and that him and saskia weren't official, and that he was sorry for helping her and leaving me behind." i spoke quickly, combing through the events to make sure that what had actually taken place actually took place,

"..then suddenly, he began to.. test me, and-," i paused, realising that there is a line where i tell what needs to be told, the essentials, and whatever doesn't need to be shared, i keep to myself.

onyx leant forward, waiting for me to continue, making sure she got the most thorough recall of the events that she could muster.

"- i don't know. it all happened so fast, but me and lorenzo have nothing going on between us. this was the first time."

let's just pretend that what happened in the classroom the other time didn't exist, yeah?

yeah.

let's do that.

go on, valentina.

keep lying to your friend.

lying to yourself.

'there's nothing between us' bullshit.

"well, feel free to makeout with whoever is in our group, but-," she inhaled deeply, the product of this being a large sigh, a sigh that dampened the dry silence that fell between us.

"- be careful, don't let him use you as a toy, like he does with everyone else - you know how enzo is." she warned, however worry was prominent in her tone.

"i know, i know what they're all like. him, blaise, mattheo, theo, draco, all of them. i won't end up as one of their meaningless flings - i promise."

you promise, valentina?

now this is interesting.

making promises you cant keep is a bold decision.

who knows what empty promises you'll make next?

"okay, i love you." onyx smiled sweetly at me, a partly maternal love, one a mother would have when protecting their child.

mommy onyx.

and just like that, she switched her lamp off beside her on her bedside table, falling into her cushioned mattress, eventually slipping into a deep slumber.

i followed her actions, flicking off my lamp beside me, and letting my body go completely limp as my mattress cradled me softly, sleep mothering me away.

"oh fuck, i forgot tomorrow i have to wake up at 5:30 - after i punted the shit out of saskia, snape's made me responsible for cleaning all the classrooms including the toilets for a month straight." onyx added, her voice adorning the now pitch-black abyss that corroded our dorm room.

i let out a mocking snort, thankful that i wasn't in that position.

"thank you, by the way." i added, grateful i had an aggressive friend, who was willing to batter anyone who disrespected me within her sight.

"- for protecting me. it meant a lot, onyx. i'm sorry you are stuck scrubbing shit for a month." i snickered after the last fraction of what i had said, making her scoff and let out a laugh too.

"no problem, val. i'm always here for you."

"i'm here for you too." i said, smiling, however my emotions weren't evident as the pitch darkness veiled us from expressing our feelings to each other.

<>

WOO

sorry for the short chapter, i just got back from a friend's house and im super tired and wanna watch netflix 😇😇

i will try to update tomorrow, and i'll try to make the chapter longer, however you guys will just have to cope with this short piece of shit whilst i watch horror movies rn - sorry not sorry

anyways thank u for 400+ reads ily bye