ataraxia, lorenzo berkshire

"THIRTY"

i must admit,

i've never been good at sex.

by this remark, i mean i've never really understood how to behave 'correctly' in the bedroom, and always struggled performing to the guys' standards when it came to women in bed.

for example, their fingering game is absolute ass. they'll be literally rubbing so vigorously like i'm some kind of magical genie lamp or some shit, and then expect me to have a soul-splitting, jaw breaking orgasm that leaves my legs shaking.

obviously that doesn't happen.

i had to fake most of my orgasms, and i simply wasn't satisfied enough - and i blamed that on myself.

unlike lorenzo, arts in the bedroom wasn't my strongest point - which is why i never slept around as much as my friends.

we were actually having a conversation the other day, one of those conversations that gets immensely deep and intimate and you find out shit about each-other that should've merely remained safer as a skeleton inside a closet.

and this conversation in particular, involving me, magnora, lucille, lorenzo, xander, draco, mattheo, pansy, theo, blaise and onyx - no saskia as she'd been summoned back to her family mansion abruptly for 'urgent family duties' , which nobody knew much about until she hurriedly fled the school grounds bearing three white silk suitcases at six in the morning sharp.

turns out, everyone within this quaint friendship circle, has had sex more than twice.

they may sound odd, but i may have memorised each of their individual body counts.

magnora - four times, once with theo, yes, i'm just as shocked as you are - however we all saw it coming - and the other three she refused to name, labelling them 'irrelevant.' however i believed there was more to it than that, however magnora was a fairly shy girl who obviously wasn't comfortable articulating intimidate information and that was totally acceptable, because i would be the same.

except during that conversation at eleven fifty five PM on a school night, i'd consumed almost an entire glass bottle of whiskey.

not smart.

at this rate, taking drugs would be smarter than drinking alcohol.

i'd rather hallucinate that eyeballs were emerging out of my surroundings whispering my name than be painfully and publicly open about my sex life.

lucille - three times, twice with draco, and once with cedric diggory. her and draco have a sexually beneficial but emotionally damaging relationship that not even a lecture from onyx could fix, so technically we all have to sit there and watch as they argue like feral animals in the day, and turn up to breakfast the next day looking like they've been fucking all night, but they claim there's 'nothing going on.'

suspicious.

lorenzo - you won't beleive me when i tell you this, or maybe you would, because i knew deep down that this number was accurate however i physically couldn't prevent my jaw from falling agape as he slowly admitted it.

thirty.

this thirty was apparently combined with girls from our school, bauxbatons, and non-magical folk he'd meet at bars and nightclubs, when he could be bothered to travel to them.

"thirty? what in the actual fuck, enzo!," i concealed my shocked expression with my hand, watching as he looked away from the flabbergasted group in faux shame, however we all knew that shame was of the essence, and that he was just flustered - judging from his fidgety hands and him avoiding any traces of eye contact.