ataraxia, lorenzo berkshire

"thirty four"

"mattheo, how did you and theo, draco, blaise and enzo become friends?," i sat beside him as he lit up a cigarette in the courtyard.

usually, any student caught smoking is sent to departmental detention immediately, however it was late at night and the professors that would be on night patrol usually on this weeks rotation were occupied as tonight it was the 'staff banquet' - a yearly celebration for the professors and their hard work at the school - so there wasn't anyone around other than other small groups of students who slipped out of their dormitories to do the same thing as me and mattheo.

smoke, drink, and clear their heads of any stresses and disturbances that eat away at the premature mind.

he used his other free hand to flick off the smoked ash that clung on to the end of the cigarette, before holding it up to his lips and inhaling.

"our families." he answered shortly.

i didn't say anything, instead purposefully creating an awkward silence that would push him to elaborate a little further.

"-they used to have these conferences ever since we were children. their friends would bring their kids with them and dump them in the malfoy's manor house whilst they all cooped up in lucius' cabinet room."

he sighed, taking a break from the cigarette as it rested patiently within his fingers, the amber sparks of the flame engulfing the dry tobacco packed within the cigarette paper the only source of light as the courtyard was now an hour away from being pitch black.

"we'd all get left to just.. play. sometimes it'd be for an hour, other times it'd be the whole day." he moved his hand holding the cigarette as he spoke, forming gestures as his monotone voice flowed.

"-theo was my first friend, because he came up to me and said that we "should be friends because we have a similar name"."

i smiled at that.

of course it was theo that made the first move.

"-then it was blaise. he was a shy child, at the beginning of these conferences, he'd sit by himself in the corner like a puppy with its tail between its legs."

i noticed he was looking at the ground, trying hard to remember something that he so obviously repressed in an attempt at creating a defense mechanism.

i knew mattheo didn't have the best childhood. for self explanatory reasons.

talking about topics such as hobbies, friends, and family were abnormal to mattheo as he was simply never asked these questions ever, so he was unsure on how to respond to them.

i always wondered why he was so intimidating, yet most of the time, unless you drove him to his breaking point - he has an unbelievably explosive temper - he wouldn't hurt a fly. and i knew that for a fact. sure, he's had his fair share of physical outbursts in school, broken a few bones and noses, and is covered in combat scars - however, if you didn't irritate him, he'd just sit there, maybe observe you for a few minutes, and then bury himself in a spell book of some sort.

i also wonder where he got his love for books and education from. maybe his mother? his father probably was too busy becoming the monster he is today.

"but lorenzo and draco, they were practically conjoined at the hip." he raised the cigarette to his lips again, smoke escaping from his mouth as he spoke, "they'd been through a fair amount together. having lucius raising them and all."

he tilted his head upwards, facing the premature moon, which was grey and dim in the moment, and had only been acknowledged by us a few minutes ago.

somehow, even it's pathetic attempt at moonbeams managed to catch the crevices of his scars across his body, including the small one at the bridge of his nose.