ataraxia, lorenzo berkshire

"eight"

ah shit, here we go again.

attempting to process me and lorenzo's sudden, rather intimate interaction that happened mere minutes ago was like trying to swallow a boulder.

it was an impossible process.

i didn't know how to feel.

used? no, because if anything i let him kiss me, i never ended up saying no or pushing him away.

upset? kinda, but not really. if anything, i've managed to take a massive fucking piss upon saskia's mound of territory she deemed lorenzo.

mental conflict.

over someone who indeed, was not worth anything but.

"valentina?" a voice broke the silence, i looked up from my stiff stance in the centre of the dark classroom, and realised pansy was looking at me as if i was a deranged woman.

"oh, pansy!" i greeted them, internally hoping they'd disregard the weird situation, where i was literally standing aimlessly in a dark, unoccupied classroom staring into a indescribable void for god knows how long.

"what're you doing in here, alone?" they raised an eyebrow at me, as they leant against the doorframe, fiddling with the handle-piece of their wand.

i hesitated.

"oh! uh.. i left my wand in here yesterday, i came back to retrieve it." i explained, pretending to look under piles of dusted books and around the array of desks trying to find the non-existent wand.

"oh, okay." they shrugged, "i was just wondering since i have class in here now."

shit.

what's the time?

last time i checked, it was 20 minutes before the first lesson of the day.

what lesson do i even have?

"do you mind telling me what the time is?" i spoke, a more frantic tinge to my tone now, as i let my teeth sink into my bottom lip in panic, leaving sore indents.

they raised an eyebrow at me, before answering slowly.

"it's eight fifteen."

FUCK!

"shit - i'm sorry pansy, i'm supposed to be all the way up in the astronomy tower and i only have five minutes to get there," i began to flatten my robes with my hands and adjust my hair, making sure that when i arrived i didn't look like i'd been dragged ruthlessly through a bush backwards.

"it was lovely chatting to you!" i called out to them, before i paced out of the classroom, muttering cuss words to myself under my breath.

<>

"and so, if you look closely, you can see-,"

"ms. darlene! where have you been? you're eight minutes late to my lesson!" professor lupin strictly confronted me, for he had now halted abruptly in his teaching, and now all of the bodies present in the class were now boring their eyes into the surface of my soul.

judgemental gouges.

"i'm so sorry, i lost track of time and-," i began to explain, trying to maintain my composure whilst trying to regulate my staggered breathing from having to rush up ten flights of stairs.