A Beautiful, Terrible Love

Chapter 12

I peered out of the doorway, my loose, wavy hair falling in rivers down my slender back. I was dressed casually, with a beautiful blue halter top that I always believed fit Sadie way better than me, and a short, puffy, multicolored skirt that always took my breath away whenever I looked at it. I had never tried these outfits on before, except at the store when I bought them, because I always thought, somehow, I wasn't fit to wear them. It was too beautiful for me, a truly marvelous choice of attire that rather suited someone gorgeous like Sadie, Akemi, or Ayako.

But when I met Dex, everything I knew, or thought I knew, about myself proved to be wrong. When I first met Dex, I began to feel beautiful.

From the very start, Dex has had some sort of admiration for me that I could never understand. I could see it in his eyes, how he regarded me, like I was a precious jewel that could break at the slightest touch. I don't know why, but he thought me to be special. One of a kind. Beautiful.

And being the persuasive rockstar he is, I began to believe him.

Starting with the events on that very first night and leading to this afternoon, I had begun to increase in self-esteem, his encouraging words and approving looks sending me even higher. When I needed him this last week he was always right there beside me, an encouraging enigma, a gorgeous silver knight that would always come to my aid. He paid me an amazing amount of attention, more than he SHOULD give me, really, while almost ignoring everyone else.

Dex's behavior angered Akemi and Ayako the most out of all of the crazed fans in our school. They were vicious to me, even more than usual, but this time behind my back. They couldn't do anything to my face for fear of Dex getting angry at them. I could hear their whispers, though, as they polluted the rest of the population to their side, yet still had the nerve to flirt with Dex right in front of me. Their charm had no effect on him, though, his cool and calm demeanor politely brushing them off, paying no attention to their wily allurement. He only had eyes for me, a strange thought, honestly, and that confused me more than anything else.

He was the perfect gentleman, always opening the door for me, sticking to my side like glue. He was reliable, a brilliant tutor, teaching anything I didn't understand. He supported me with whatever I did, offering suggestions. He was also really funny, a comedian, who possessed just enough immaturity to say the hilarious jokes instead of the polite, reserved ones. 

Everyone, I could tell, was jealous of me, which only served to fuel Akemi and Ayako's horrible rumors. They all seemed to want to believe it, those whispers of my "broken home life" and "she's just with him for the money" infecting them like a virus. Dex only sat with me at lunch, which was the instigator of even more sharp bitter words directed towards me, Dex too "popular" to be talked about. The popular table invited Dex constantly to sit with them-well, Akemi and Ayako at least, I don't think Peter was too interested-, but he refused, choosing instead to pull me from the library to a circular table in the lunchroom set for two. It was not that Dex was not amiable towards the other students, it was just that he didn't spend much time with them, choosing instead to be by my side. He seemed to understand that I needed it. Needed him.

To fill that empty gap Peter had left vacant so many years ago.

I guess that is why I suddenly felt whole, like the missing piece to the puzzle had finally been found... the heart finally mended. That is what made me decide to shimmy into the gorgeous clothing and wear it for the world to see, no matter how badly it might suit me. 

A flash of insecurity rose in my chest as I surveyed myself once again in the hall mirror, observing, with a critic's eye, watching for anything out of place. Everything had to be perfect. I had spent over an hour stressing over my hair, makeup, and clothes, and I was not going to let it go to waste. I felt like I was about to enter an examination, and Dex was the-amazingly hot-judge. I couldn't fail this test.