A Beautiful, Terrible Love

Chapter 18

Every day of this last week had been a dream come true.

I couldn't count all the wonderful things that has happened to me. Akemi and Ayako have both left me alone. Sadie, Peter, and I had become friends again, just like in seventh grade. Oh, and Jared was a definite plus. He was sort of a new addition to our group, an interesting spice to the mix. I didn't mind his invasion of our trio, for he told hilarious jokes and always had something to say. He was like the person that filled in the awkward spaces, and we were all thankful for that. There were times when we all couldn't think of a single word, but Jared would always pull us through.

Also, it didn't hurt that I could plainly see he had a crush on Sadie.

It was rather, amusing, really, to spy his supposedly secret glances, his wavering words, his almost... nervous manner when around my twin. I knew he thought nobody could figure out his secret crush, but I could be rather observant when I wanted to be. 

I understood why he liked her, of course. Sadie was particularly radiant these days, her bright, cheerful attitude shining from within her soul, a spectacular aura that made me sigh with awe. I didn't know why she was so happy, but I wished for her the best. 

Anyways, it was everything I could've hoped for. People didn't ignore me in the hallways. I began to really start drawing in art class instead of world class scribbles. My self esteem shot up. My life just began to look up. It was perfect.

Except... for one thing. A person. 

A person I dared not to name.

I walked up to Jared, my hand dancing on the tip of his shoulder as I delicately tapped for his attention. He whirled around, his hair messy and straggly, adding a cuteness to him that only he could perfect. His green eyes gleamed at my sudden appearance, his luscious lips stretched into a smile. I didn't like him any more than as a friend, but I did admit he sure was a handsome guy.

"Hey," I greeted him quietly. We were standing in a massive crowd, a throng of people that were clamoring to get to their lockers. Class was about to start, and no one wanted a demerit. However, no matter how loud it was, someone could hear us, pick my voice out from the others. I couldn't risk that.

"What is it? I have to get to class," he whispered back. His eyes scanned the hallways quickly, calculatingly, "at this rate, I'll be late by at least two minutes by the time I get there!"

"Don't worry about being late," I urgently grabbed his muscled arm, dragging him through the rusty hallways to a rough, wooden closet. I reached with tender fingers towards the handles, and pulled hard. The door gave in, flinging outwards at the same time I pushed Jared in the tiny space. There was a thump as he banged against the wall, his form colliding with the various brooms and mops. I slid in after him, almost melting through the tiny crack like butter as I forced the doors closed when I entered.

I sneezed as dust swarmed in my nostrils, a sliver of light through the open door the only thing I could see. It was pitch black, the stuffiness overwhelming me. I could feel Jared's heavy breathing, his heart thumping in his chest.

Oh, the price I had to pay for privacy.

I thanked the lord for the darkness at that moment, then quickly, awkwardly reached into my bra and grabbed a lighter I had brought with me. I had stolen it this morning so that my mother couldn't light another one of her dreadful cigarettes, for she hated having to use matches. Strangely, for Lou, safety was more important than her awful addiction, and matches was on the top of her 'hazardous' list. If she didn't have her lighter, she wasn't going to light a cigarette. I had been trying to get her off for days, but this was the only thing that worked. Also, Lou always watched her lighter like a vicious watch dog, making it difficult for me to take any other option. As a result, I stuck it in my bra this morning with a shameful feeling in my gut, and honestly, a little fear. I didn't want the lighter to accidentally turn on and burn my bra away.