A Beautiful, Terrible Love

Chapter 15

Silently I waited for the limo to fade from my sight.

I turned, my body tickling still from the shock of a rock star tearing my heart into a million pieces.  The whole forest of the beautiful natural park became dizzy, swirling in my mind. I could taste the bitter betrayal in the air, feeling it swirl around me until it nearly swallowed my skinny form.

I knew that, eventually, he would leave me, but I didn't expect it to be so soon. The record was far from over, we still had a bunch of collaborations to learn and sing, and I honestly just thought that, somehow, he would find a way to stay with me. I trusted in him enough to believe that he would always be there for me.

Look where that got me.

I must be overreacting. He probably had some sort of event or meeting he had to attend and would be back by the next day. I tended to forget that Dex was a rock star sometimes, and the whole country wanted him just as much as I did. He was their idol.  Every move he made was plastered on the front of their magazines, his face stretching from cover to cover. They all desired for a taste of Dex's life, all the while wishing they too had something more. Almost every single person in America knew Dex's name, and most want to be him, or date him. They considered Dex to be a fantasy, a light that kept them hoping for the best.

Who was I to think that Dex was mine and mine alone?

I sluggishly dragged myself to a nearby park bench, fighting desperately to hold the tears back. It was surprisingly hard not to let the tears show, the watery drops fighting just as hard as I to be released from their cage. Quickly, I checked my watch, it saying 4:30 pm. I lied when I said Sadie could bring me home. She wouldn't be back from her date until 10, and I wasn't about to interrupt her exciting renegade with her handsome man. I would want the same if I were her.

But how would I get home then? I suppose I could start walking, but my home was around five miles away. Also, my foot hurt terribly, and I would probably get lost along the way, thinking back unconsciously to the beautiful kiss that made me dizzy, delivered by the most popular man in America.

It certainly was beautiful, his lips pressed against mine for a fraction of a second, but somehow making it last an eternity. He was incredibly gentle; with the way he cupped my cheek, his lips' softness taking me over. I had never felt so... prized as I did in that one moment. It seemed that he considered me to be precious, like a diamond, the way he was holding me almost cautious. It was as if he was holding back, like he was trying desperately not to break me.

The best thing about that kiss, though, was the emotions it conveyed. In that one kiss, his thoughts became mine, likewise with me, us both vulnerable because our innermost feelings were so blatantly displayed. 

In that one kiss, I found that he loved me.

But for how long? When he was surrounded by the young starlets and singers, the girls infinitely more beautiful than me, would this love last? I had no idea if this was a love that would prevail until he saw me again.

My eyelids were falling, consciousness threatening to leave me. I had not had much sleep for several days, consumed by self-conducted happy fantasies with Dex as the main character and I as the heroine. I fought to stay awake, waging a war I knew I wouldn't win. 

I decided, quickly, to stop worrying about Dex. It was not to me to decide if this love would last through tomorrow, or the next day, or even a month. That was up to him.

All I knew was that I was hopelessly in love with him, and MY love was the type that lasted forever.

The sleep quickly overtook me, and I faded away into the black void, my thoughts vanishing, and darkness taking its place.