A Beautiful, Terrible Love

Chapter 16

I dragged myself through the door, weariness showing in my slow walk. Lou was sitting on the couch, her magnificent raven black hair splayed among the pillows, contrasting sharply against her snow white skin. She was leafing through the TV channels, her expression of pure boredom, most likely trying to hide the worry that boiled underneath her facade.

She shot up at my entrance, crossing over to me with concern. "What took you so long, honey?" she queried, her voice worried. She had obviously been spending hours fretting about my tardiness, wondering just exactly what Dex and I were doing at such a late hour.

"Mom, I'm okay," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

"He didn't... do anything to you, did he?" 

"NO mom." 

All he did was ditch me without saying when he was coming back, kissing me into oblivion, then leaving me in the dust as his limo sped away.

"Okay, sweetheart," her enchanting brown eyes stared into mine, "but if he does... would you tell me?" her voice wavered slightly, her expression of hope as she peered at me.

"Probably," I murmured, disconcerted under her all-knowing gaze. She shot me a relieved smile.

"Goodnight," she propelled herself, her plump red lips coated with lipstick, towards my forehead. She delivered a simple, sweet kiss, her minty breath wafting into my nostrils, and then glided away.

I smiled a little at Lou's kind gesture, the caring feeling she rarely expressed showing through. She was the sort of parent that didn't shower her love generously upon us. But I was fine. I could cope. 

I glanced for a few lingering seconds at the sofa in the den. It was immaculate, not a trace of anything remotely Dex. The soft surface looked groomed, no stains to be found. He must have had it cleaned out earlier or something, the couch even better looking than when he arrived here.

It was suddenly hard to believe that Dex had slept on this very sofa. All I had left of him was a memory, a memory that was getting even more surreal by the minute. 

Emotion starting to overtake me, I ran to my room, coughing as I fought back tears. The comforting aroma of my cinnamon candle greeted me as I slipped through the door, shutting it quietly behind me. The shaggy carpet, white as snow, crumpled under my footsteps, the ceiling fan whirring the air directly onto my form. My bed, a queen-sized one I had to share with Sadie, sat begrudgingly in the center, its covers rumpled and thrown aside. With walls as thin as paper, I could hear every word muttered in the house, not a good thing when you want to go to bed when your mom is watching TV. 

I went to the small berth, sliding my form on it gracefully. I pull my knees to my chest, leaning back against the headboard, my eyes looking at the cracked ceilings, the fan that was dangerously close to falling, and the vent. 

This, to me, was home. It was my secret place, the place I could just... be me in. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough.

I let the tears flow, finally, them racing in rivers down my cheeks and spilling onto the comforter. Why did he have to leave me?

Will he ever come back?

A million other questions zoomed through my mind, all of which I had no true answer to. It agonized me, the terrible feeling of being without answers or hope. Both were incredibly important to me, and only when I was without them I would panic. 

I dragged the covers over me, my form shaking from my strong emission of emotion. The tears were blinding me, blocking my vision until all I could see was light, unable to distinguish specific forms.