ikigai |billie eilish

eleven.

"eliana!" my teacher shouts which caused me to shot my head up.

"what" i mumble as i rub my eyes then look around. he didn't say anything, he just gave be a look before he walked back to the board and continued teaching.

"why are you so tired" billie whispered to me

"i had a nightmare at like 3:30 and i've been up ever since" i rub my forehead then get a pencil to start doing my work.

"what was it about"

"nothing"

"can i see your answers"

she passed her paper over to me and since the teacher was at his desk i just copied the answers. "4 is wrong" i erased her answer on her paper and corrected it.

the bell ended up ringing but i didn't get to finish filling out all the answers so i just gave him what i had.

"get some sleep tonight" he scolded me as i just nodded in response and walked out the class.

"are u okay" billie walked up to me but i just rolled my eyes. "yes billie i'm fine"

"are u mad at me"

"no"

"are u sure"

"billie just leave me alone"

"i didn't even do anything"

"billie stop" we stopped waking in the hallway as a mad look grows on face. "man what is your issue" she said. i started talking but she cut me off "you're such a bitch to me when i've literally never done anything to you"

"look billie i'm-"

"fuck off" she walked away then i just stood there for a moment thinking about what just happened.

i shouldn't have taken my shit out in her and now she's pissed at me. great.

the second bell rings which makes me more irritated then i already was. i went to the third floor before going into class.

"you're late, do you have a pass" i shake my head no.

"go get one" she points to the door so i sigh and ask the security guard if i can have a pass. he gives me one so i go back to class and give it to her.

i just put my head down for the class because i was tired. i've been up since 3:30 for fucks sake.

•••••••

it's the end of the day but i'm standing by the door waiting for billie. this is the one she usually leaves out of at the end of the day and i wanted to talk to her about earlier.

she walked closer to the door but i stopped her but she just rolled her eyes.

"move"

"billie please let me talk"

"no"

"why"

"you're such a dick. i ask to make sure okay and you're still a dick" she laughed, annoyed by thinking it about it.

"billie i'm sorry" i looked at her but she just shakes her head.

she walked out the door and i did the same to because i have to walk home.

on my way home i call leo to tell him what happened because he didn't come to school today.

"eli" he trails off then gives me a look. "i know but she's so mad at me and i already tired apologized"

"give her a little bit to cool off. you have to apologize again" i sighed then thought about it for a moment. i didnt know that i was bothering her that much. i just have a guard up with everyone, it's nothing personal.

"i feel really bad" i stated as i started walking up the steps to my front door. i unlocked the door and entered my house.

"i gotta go" i tell him and we say our goodbyes then hang up.

"hi dad" i pull him into a hug while he says hi back to me.

we talked about our day then we started taking about their anniversary that's coming up next month. "i'm not sure what i wanna do. do you have any ideas"

"take her on trip. maybe paris or rome or something like. somewhere romantic" he turns the tv on and i came over to sit next to him. "i like that. maybe paris"

we talking for a little bit longer then i go upstairs because i wanna be alone for a little bit. after i get home school i usually just wanna be by myself for a bit.

i went on tik tok but i also made a few. i have like 5k on there but i don't take it very seriously.

my sister got home 2 hours later and i went in there to hangout.

"give me those" i grab my takis from her hands. she made a pouty face but i just laughed at her. "friday there is a party, are you coming to it" she asked but i just gave her a weird look.

"nah i'm good" she flipped me off but i did the same thing back to her. "make a tik tok with me" i demanded and we both got up from the bed and propped my phone up.

i set the timer on it then i backed up and waited for it to started.

"i did my dance on tik tok once and with viral with it"

we did the dance but my mom walked in so we just started laughing as we finished the dance. i picked my phone up then she told us dinner was ready.

we made our way downstairs then sat at the table. "so for our anniversary next month we're gonna go to paris" she smiled, looking excited.

i gave a look to my dad, after i grabbed some salad from the bowl.

we finished dinner so me and my sister started cleaning up. i cleaned the counters and my sister put the dishes into the dishwasher.

after we made our way upstairs then i decided to text billie as i went into the room.

me
please talk to me.
i'm really sorry billie
read 15 seconds ago

i sighed then decided to check my comments from the posts that i made earlier on tik tok. it was a mix of compliments and people talking about the video.

i started watching the office for a while but changed into pajamas. i went under my blanket before turning off my tv. it was dark because that was the only source of light that was in my room.

i quickly started drifting off to sleep. i really hope i good tonight because i really need it. i can't go to school tomorrow be tired like that again.