ikigai |billie eilish

twenty nine.

i was walking in the hallway at school as i felt someone's arm wrap around my shoulder. "hi angel" billie kissed my cheek. i have her a smile then let out a soft "hi"

as we were walking past the bathroom she grabbed my hand and pulled me in it with her. i was confused by why she pulled us in here but she soon started talking as we stood in the middle of the bathroom.

"so...wait" she checked the stalls, i had a weird look on my face but she soon came back when she realized no one was in the bathroom other than us.

"i gotta tell you something but you can't freak out okay?" i arched an eyebrow "i'm not agreeing to anything" her shoulders slumped "eliana"

"just tell me billie" i demanded but not rudely. "ramona asked to hook up again" she scratched the side of her head. "what the fuck" i walk out of the bathroom as i heard the bell ring which means we have to get to class.

i clenched my jaw as i thought for a moment "ima talk to her because she's pissing me off" billie looked at me and she narrowed her eyes at me. she gave me her pinky "just a talk" i immediately responded "no" she sighed "just don't do anything stupid"

"i just don't understand what her problem is, you don't want her, she needs to get the hint" billie nodded, agreeing with my statement. "you know some random person came up to me today and asked me if we were dating"

i raised my eyebrows then let out a laugh. "damn i wonder how people know" she gave me a are you serious look. "we literally kiss in front of people all the time. i'd be confused if people didn't know"

"oh yea that's a good point" she shook her head as she laughed. "you're really dumb sometimes" i gasped "i'm never dumb" i huffed

"sure" she gave me a fake smile

•••••••

it was later, lunch time. i was in the cafeteria at the seat me and leo usually sit at but he was talking to some girl so i was trying to look around for billie because she sits at a different spot everyday.

but i saw ramona walk out of the cafeteria. perfect. i got up then left the cafeteria to follow her. i'm pretty sure she's going to be locker.

"ramona" i yelled so she turned around, once she noticed it was me she rolled her eyes. "what" she spit out, i could tell she was annoyed that i was talking to her. i don't care though.

"leave billie alone, she doesn't want you" i explained to her. she crossed her arms "no she doesn't want you" she said in a matter of a fact tone. i laughed at her statement. billie? doesn't want me? yea okay

i was over this conversation, she's stupid and she doesn't know what she's talking about. "just leave her alone, got it?" i raised my eyebrows as i demanded her seriously. "she's just playing you, she's gonna fuck you then leave and when she does ima laugh in your face" i could tell she was serious by her statement.

that pushed me to my max. why would she say something like that, she literally has no idea what she's talking about.

i landed a strong punch right on her jaw. what the fuck- that hurt. i saw her stumble back and she eventually fell on the ground. ramona grabbed her jaw as she looked up at me shocked. "the fuck" her eyebrows came together.

"next time i'll do worse" i warned her as i looked down at her. she didn't say anything to me so i just walked off. it's a good thing no one is in the hallways

fuck. i fucked up. i don't care that i did it in school, i've never gotten into a fight, just arguments. but i know billie is gonna be mad. i have to tell her. i'll tell her later when she comes over. hopefully she won't be too mad.

•••••••

billie just got here so i led her up to my room and sat down. "so i talked to ramona" billies head snapped over to look at her. "what happened" i cleared my throat.

"i kinda sorta maybe punched her" i looked down and started fiddling with my fingers. "you what" billies eyes widened. i didn't say anything so she kept talking "why did you do that" i shrugged

"she said that you were playing me and that you were gonna fuck me and leave" i look over at her. she scooted closer to me "you know that's not right, right?"

i nodded at her statement "yea, i do"

"so then why did you do it" she questioned me.

"because she just pisses me off" i can feel myself getting mad by just thinking about her. billie laughed and pulled me to her chest, it was quiet for a moment "are u mad at me" i quizzed her. she looked down at me.

"no no, i just don't want you getting in trouble, baby. if the roles were reversed i'd do the same thing" she told so i nodded against her chest. "no one saw"

"just try not to do that again, okay?" i thought about it. "okay i'll try not to but no promises"

"you're so violent" she started off

"and jealous" she mumbled the last part. i sat up to look at her "i'm not jealous... she just needs to back off" i put a fake smile on. billie laughed at me "whatever you need to tell yourself baby"

she grabbed my hand "does it hurt" i nodded "just a little bit"

"i have homework, can you help me" she asked me. i nodded "but i have to shower first" she told me okay so i went and headed to my closet to get some pajamas.