eighteen.

1.5K 43 14
                                    

TW!!!!!!!!

i walk out of the library so i could go to my next class. i just skipped my first block because i was really tired and i wanted to finish my book.

i ended up finishing it so i went on my new phone and looked for a new book. i checked it out then the bell rang so now i'm going to my second block.

it's math so hopefully billie is here because i wanna talk to her.

"what are u doing" ebony stopped me, confused by why i was over here because none of my classes are. "i skipped first" we talked for a little bit longer before a security guard told us to get to class. it's that dumb one.

that shit pissed me off, i explained it to her more then once and she just kept saying the same thing. i still got into the game but how did she not understand what i was saying

as i was walking class i saw billie so i ran up to her. "hey" i say softly but she doesn't acknowledge it. "can i come over later" i asked and that made her look up at me.

"are you gonna ignore me after" she questioned me, seriously. a guilty look comes over my face. i lick my lips "no... i'll explain everything later but we gotta be alone"

she furrows her eyebrows together, probably confused on why we have to be alone but she'll figure it out later. "so can i?"

she sighed as she thought about it for a moment. "i guess so" i grinned widely then told her thank you a couple of times. i knew it was hard because i literally ghosted her and she has no idea why.

"we need to work on our project too" i informed her and she nodded "we can go to my house, no one will be there so you can just come home with me"

we walked into class and i pulled out my folder, grabbed my homework for last night. "we had homework" billies eyes widen. i laughed then showed her what we had to do. "man i didn't even get that"

"you were supposed to get it from the desk as you were leaving"

"that's stupid" she grumbled

"okay who did the homework" she asked and everyone who did it raised their hand. billie was the only person who had her hand down so everyone started looking at her.

"stop staring" she looked around at everyone then the teacher walked over to the board. "why didn't you do the homework"

"i didn't know you were supposed to get it on your way out"

"so you weren't paying attention"

"i was but-"

"since you weren't paying attention you can do it in the board and you'll get the credit. or don't but you won't get the 20 points"

billie sighed, got up and went to the board.

•••••••

"come on" billie walked out the door and started heading towards her car.

i can tells she's upset with me because whenever she is, she's quiet and talks to me dryly. we got into the car and she started driving home fast.

we got inside her house then went to her room like usual. we sat on her bed facing each other. i just stared at her for a moment.

i missed her.

"so are u gonna explain why you're ignoring me or not" she snapped which caused me to frown. "yea sorry" i looked down at my fingers and started to mess my rings.

"so like a year ago i went to my parents friends house with my parents, ebony and leo" i started but i could see she was getting confused.

"just wait" i told her so she nodded

"his name is seth. they were friends since high school and ive known him my whole life. he's always been really nice to us" i stop for a moment when i start thinking of that day.

"he had just gotten a new house so he wanted us to come over for dinner so we all could see it. leo came because he was over that day and we knew seth wouldn't care" i move around on the bed and look at billie. she still looked really confused because we were supposed to be talking about why i've been ignoring her.

"when he was showing us the outside, i asked to use the bathroom so he left his son with my family and he was gonna show me where it was. instead he shoved me into a room. when i asked what he was doing he just told me to shut up" i stop because i started getting choked up and i could feel a tear fall down my cheek.

billie looked at me sadly, she wiped the tear off my cheek and took my hand. "you don't have to tell if you don't want to" i shook my head. "i have to. i want to" she told me to take my time.

"then he pushed me on the bed and got on top of me. i tried to get him off but he held me down and i ended up freezing. he took my shorts off and put his hand in between my thighs"

"i started crying but i couldn't move, i couldn't speak. he started taking his clothes which made me start to cry hard and he slapped me a few times because i was being too loud"

"leo heard it when he came in and luckily seth wasn't naked all the way, just in his boxers. i got dressed as leo and him started fighting but he didn't even hit leo once. my family and seth's son came running and my dad pulled him off and my mom and ebony already knew something happened"

"i told them what happened, we left and i said i didn't want to press charges. seth wasn't gonna press charges on leo because if he did, he knew it would come out that he did that to me"

"that's what i have my nightmares about. my biggest fear was something like that happening to me. the other day when i stayed after school to take the test, she told me to take something to the coach and his son came up and started to talk to me. i told him to leave me alone but he wouldn't. i don't know what he wanted because coach called him back in the gym. it really freaked me out. i didn't get out of bed those two days i missed school. i hardly even talked to anyone"

the whole time i was explaining it, tears were falling down my face. i haven't talked about it like that since it happened.

"i knew you were gonna have questions and i knew i was gonna have to tell you soon. so i kept my distance while i was figuring my shit out. that's why im so mean to people and why i don't like it when people touch me"

i met her eyes and scooted a little closer to her. "im really sorry billie" she shook her then grabbed both of my hands. "you don't have to be sorry. you know none of that is you're fault right" she looked at my face, try to read my expressions.

i nodded as i went into her arms. i cried for a minute then wiped my tears. "thank you" i pulled away from her, she tilted her head and hummed. "for helping me with this"

"you know i'd never hurt you right" she stared into my eyes. "yea i know" i moved over to the head of the bed to lay down. i stuck my arm out then popped my head up. "lay with me" i requested softly.

she came over and got on top of me. she put her head in the crook of my neck and her legs tangled with mine.

i feel safe with billie. i know she would never hurt me.

ikigai |billie eilish Where stories live. Discover now