ikigai |billie eilish

twenty two.

i think billie might be my best friend. i mean of course i have leo but with billie it's different. we hangout a lot, she gives me a ride home everyday and we facetime the days we don't hangout.

she's really nice to me, she buys me taco bell and takis, even when i don't ask her. if we go to eat somewhere she pays for my food even though i tell her no every time. i don't want her spending money on me.

some days when we hang out we just lay in my bed. i'll go to sleep or we just lay there and watch the office or talk. sometimes we watch tiktok which is pretty fun.

i like it when she kisses me. sometimes she'll kiss me on my forehead or my temple. but usually she kisses me in the lips which always gives me butterflies. she's such a good kisser.

and she always helps me when i have a nightmare. she always knows what to say, how to comfort me when i'm upset. like the other day when she was over i had one and i woke up crying.

(flashback)

my eyes shot open as i started gasping with my hand on my chest. my eyes immediately started to water and a few tears went down my cheek.

i looked over to billie as she was sleeping and i nudged her arm so she would wake up. at first she was annoyed that i did but quickly realized what was happening.

she moved over so she was in front of me then grabbed my hands. she told me to focus on my breathing and she took deep breathes with me.

i went closer to her, put my head on her chest and just silently cried for a moment. that nightmare was probably one of the scariest i've ever had.

"you're okay eliana, i'm here. i won't let anyone hurt you" she whispered to me as she rubbed my back in a comforting motion.

(end of flashback)

it was the middle of the night and i was just thinking about billie.

i couldn't sleep so i was just thinking because i didn't wanna go on my phone. it was charging which i don't care about but it's not good to go on your phone in the dark. it's bad for your eyes.

i heard my phone get a message which caused me to furrow my eyebrows together. who is up at 3:30 am?

i checked to see who it was, it was billie.

i know i said i didn't want to go on my phone but this is an exception. she asked if i was up and if i wanted to facetime, i told her yes to both.

not even 20 seconds later i started getting a facetime from her, i answered it right away.

"hi" i smiled but she couldn't see because i had my camera turned off. "hey" she said with a raspy voice. that's hot as fuck. "why are you up" i asked her but she just shrugged.

"i couldnt sleep, you" i told her same then she looked at her phone, confused. "turn your camera on" she demanded. "no i look really bad right now" i replied but she shook her head.

"i wanna see your pretty face" i gave in and turned my camera on before lifting it up so she could see me. once she saw my face she smiled ear to ear.

"i miss you" she stated which caused me to laugh. "you just saw me earlier at school. and you took me home"

"school doesn't count and we were in the car for like five minutes, you didn't even give me a kiss" she grumbled.

"damn you right. come over, i'll give you one" i joked but she smirked "for real" she questioned me. even though i was joking, i miss her. "yup" i stated then i saw her get off her bed.

"bet" she started getting dressed because just had a sports bra on, along with some boxers. she told me she was gonna be there in a few minutes then hung up.

just like she said, a few minutes later she was here. i quietly went downstairs to unlock the door and let her in.

as i let her in i told her to be quiet because everyone was sleeping. she told me okay then i grabbed her hand and we made our way upstairs.

once we got into my room, i shut my door then turned over to her. she picked me up and put me over her shoulder. i started laughing but i put my hand over my mouth because i was getting too loud.

she put me on my bed then hovered over me. "thats what you get for not giving me a kiss earlier" she stated which caused me to giggle. i got serious again as she started to look all over my face with a big smile on hers.

"stop looking at me like that" i turned my head then put my hands over my face because i could feel myself blushing, hard. she moved my hands off of my face then she put her hand on my jaw then turn my head so i was looking at her again.

"give me a kiss" i demanded so she leaned down to give me a quick peck. "bitch that wasn't a kiss" i furrowed my eyebrows together because i knew she did it on purpose. she laughed then leaned down to give me another but i turned my head and dodged it which caused her to kiss my cheek instead.

she didn't lift her head this time so we were really close together. i turned my head back over to look at her, we were so close i could feel her breath on my lips. she looked at me with a blank expression, she blank her eyes at me a few times, rapidly.

i grabbed her jaw with my hand then pulled her down to give her a long, slow kiss. i pushed her back up gently and she bit her lip. her face was red which she probably knew but didn't care about.

"you're so pretty" i run my thumb over her cheek but she just denied it like always. "whatever" i narrowed my eyes at her for a moment. "you are"

she leaned down again to give me another kiss but this time we kept going. after a few seconds, she stuck her tongue in which caused me to let out an unintentional soft moan. she smirked but she quickly went back to kissing me.

after a few minutes she pulled away which caused me to give her an annoyed look. she noticed and laughed "cmon you need some sleep"

"im not tired" i argued but she still took off her shoes then got into the bed with me. "cmere" she motioned me over to her, so i could lay on her. i quickly went over to her since we have cuddled in a couple days.

i quickly got comfortable on top of her. i looked up at her "hi" she smiled at me. "go to sleep baby" i love it when she calls me that.

at this point i was so comfortable, i could barely keep my eyes opened. "but i wanna keep talking to you" she moved the hair out of my face "we can talk tomorrow, i promise" after she told me that, i felt okay to go to sleep.

an: kinda love them 😁