ikigai |billie eilish

twenty seven.

billies pov:

i groan as i start to wake up, i rub my eyes then looked over to check the time, it was 6pm. damn i slept a while.

holy fuck i was supposed to pick eliana up. fuck fuck fuck.

i grab my phone and tap on her contact immediately. i called her but she declined it right away. fuck. i tried to call her again but she ignored that one too. i saw that she texted me a few times so i went to read them.

my girl 😏
wya?
babyyyyy
bro
billie please answer
i need you

me
baby i'm so sorry
i thought i would be awake
i laid down at 12
i don't know why i slept that long
read

yk i can see when u read my
messages right?

my girl 😏
yup

me
please talk to me

me girl 😏
i needed you
i don't even care about the ride
but jake came up to me
i needed you and you were sleeping
you should have set your alarm

me
i know
i'm so so sorry eliana
can i come over?

my girl 😏
i have a test tomorrow and i have
to study
so
no

me
please i don't want you going to
sleep mad at me
i won't leave you alone

my girl 😏
fine but if you piss me off
im gonna kick you out

me
okay i'll be there in 5 minutes

i feel so bad that i fell asleep. like i fell asleep on purpose but we get out at 2:15 so i thought i would be up by then.

also the fact that jake talked to her and i wasn't there for her when she needed me. shit makes me want to cry. i hate disappointing people.

i put on my slides, grabbed my keys and made my way to her house.

i got there in a short amount of time and knocked on the door. ebony opened the door for me and said hi. we had a short conversation then i went upstairs to elianas room.

i knocked on the door before i started opening it slowly. "hi angel" i smiled but she didn't say anything, she just looked upset.

i sat on her bed as she was sitting at her desk. "listen eliana i'm really sorry, i didn't think i would sleep that long. it won't happen again but i'm all ears now" i told her honestly.

"that shit pissed me off, i needed you billie" her voice broke at the end of her sentence. i pouted my bottom lip out then stood up. she got up too and we made our way to each other. she started crying in my arms "it won't happen again, i promise" i whisper to her.

i pulled away, she looked down and started to play with her fingers. i lifted her head with my fingers, i wiped her tears and smiled. "i'm so proud of you" i mumbled, a big smile grew on her face.

"what happened baby" i asked her and she sat down on her bed. she told me what happened, she started to cry again but she's okay now.

"i just wish he would leave me alone. i don't know why he's starting to bother me again" she muttered sadly.

"i'm gonna beat his ass dude" she looked up at me and shook her head. "don't billie" she demanded me seriously "he deserves that shit" i argue

"i know but still"

"i'll just tell him to leave you alone" she gave me a look "i'm just gonna talk to him" i put my pinky out so she knows that i'm being serious. she took my pinky with hers.

"god i look like shit" she looked at herself in her mirror that's in front of her bed. i move closer to her "stop that shit" i look at her through the mirror. "deadass the prettiest girl i've laid my eyes on"

she kept eye contact with me through the mirror but once i said that she turned her head so i couldn't see her. she had a big smile on her face and she covered her mouth, with her hand.

i moved even closer to her so our thighs were touching. she looked back over to me, our faces were pretty close so i kept looking down to her lips. "i know you're mad at me but can i kiss you" i asked which made her giggle.

she smashed our lips together, my eyes fluttered shut. i cupped her face then kissed her a few more times but i pulled away. "i missed your kisses... even though it's only been just over 24 hours"

"it's okay i did too... anyway i gotta study so" i frowned a little bit. i got up then gave me a long kiss, i pulled away but kept close to her face. "goodbye angel" she furrowed her eyebrows "don't leave" she asked softly.

"you'll just be bored for a little bit. or you could help me" her eyebrows raised at the last part. i thought about it and nodded.

•••••••

me and eliana studied for about an hour and a half but now we're eating taco bell. she's gonna get an A on her test tomorrow. at first we kept joking around and we kept getting distracted but we ended up getting focused and she got the questions right over and over but she insisted that we kept going.

we were eating in her living room, we usually eat in her room but her parents were down here and they offered for us to sit down here. they don't really know me other then what eliana tells them so i'm sure they wanna get to know me for themselves.

"i love your hair" her dad compliments me, i thanked him. "how many times have u dyed your hair" her mom asked. my eyes widened at the question "i don't even know. i've had; sliver, gray, just black, blue, teal. i've had a lot more too"

"that's cool" her dad said, all i did was nod while i took a drink of water. "i would have bought you guys food but-" i started saying but they cut me off. "no it's okay, we don't even like taco bell" my jaw dropped.

"but it's so good, i-" i had a shocked face "that's what i'm saying" eliana agreed.

we finished our food and then we talked for a little bit longer but eliana started getting impatient because she wanted to go upstairs.

me and her parents were in a conversation but eliana interrupted us "come onnnnnn" she dragged off so i laughed. "okay okay" i smiled to her parents and they gave me wave.

i picked her up which caused her to laugh loudly. "billie!" she shrieked, i started walking up the stairs "put me down!" she hit my back. "yo what the fuck?!?"

"that's it" i stated "no no no i'm sorry" i felt her tense up from being scared. i threw her down on her bed but not too hard. i started tickling her, she started laughing but she was trying to push me away at the same time. "billie please, im sorry" she begged over and over so i finally stopped.

"ima go shit" she told me which made me look at her like she's crazy. i mean i say that type of shit but i just don't expect it from her.