So... here we are 5 years on. I've just turned 19; 5 years ago I thought I would be dead before my 15th birthday.
I've not really documented life since starting recovery, so I'll try my best to recall what I can since then. It's been a real wave of ecstatic highs and catastrophic lows:
I am now at university. I achieved my dream and am at one of the best dental schools in the UK. I now drive. I passed all of my GCSES and A-Levels. My brother got to uni too and survived a crisis in sixth form. I am more in tune of my identity as Amy, and aware that it doesn't have to be feminine. I work for a company I love.
I attempted suicide twice again since my 15th. I was put into 1 to 1 support at sixth form. I found out I'm infertile due to hormone imbalances leading to PCOS likely caused from my struggling relationship with food since 13. I gained 10kg over lockdown and have since lost 12. My friendships in sixth form fell apart, strengthened in a different group, and then fell apart again as we all went different ways to uni.
Life still feels like a wave: I'm amazed by all I've achieved and what I'm up to with life at the moment, yet my illness has never really gone away... it's just sort of diminished. I never thought I would say this, but I can manage it now.
The urge is still there but I'm over a year clean.
I could put this into so many more words, but for ease I won't. Simply, life is moving on and things are slowly looking up...
YOU ARE READING
Curiosity Cures; Curiosity Kills
Non-FictionA book about the ups and downs of whatever is happening, and a places for me to show you my pictures ? if any parts are perhaps triggering, there I'll be a warning at the beginning of the chapter with ⚠️ so you can just skip past x
