A book about the ups and downs of whatever is happening, and a places for me to show you my pictures ? if any parts are perhaps triggering, there I'll be a warning at the beginning of the chapter with ⚠️ so you can just skip past x
So today is the last day- but already off to a good start! We were out by 9:30 and I left a sweet message for the people who clean the lodges. I always get sad about leaving because it's always so good here!
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Right now, I'm outside cafe rouge waiting for my dad, to have some breakfast! I'm looking forwards to it, except I won't know the calorie content... oh well 🤷🏻♂️ I also bought a chocolate coin today to enjoy later 😋😋 after breakfast, might go for a walk and go swimming- again! And then we're eating out AGAIN for dinner. Now that might be too much of a challenge 😰😰
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••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• swimming was neutral today. I've been contemplating a lot, and in the pool today I swam underwater and opened my eyes and sat there until I had to surface for air. It's odd- that pain and craving for air. It was just like my whole EDNOS- craving food but the pain of not eating was better until I completely had to, just like when I had to surface for air...
⚠️trigger warning⚠️I never realised how much I've actually wanted to drown myself. I would be better off dead. I always thought suicide would be the way I would want to go. I wouldn't say I would act on it soon... but I think sometimes I might.
I'm in Hucks, and I'm having the beetroot burger, and a side of warm garlic bread 😅 not too bad, but eating out twice in one day is a challenge. Very much. I also had a chocolate coin earlier and I'm feeling so guilty.
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That meal tasted nice and was good but I feel so so full 😭 I can't Of anything to do except purge it- I feel like a wedge of dynamite is in my stomach... 🤢 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••purged it. 🤢 •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••back home again after centre parcs, and I'm already missing it! It's always magical and great fun, and definitely would love to go back again ☺️
