A book about the ups and downs of whatever is happening, and a places for me to show you my pictures ? if any parts are perhaps triggering, there I'll be a warning at the beginning of the chapter with ⚠️ so you can just skip past x
Recovery is possible. If you hold told me that this time a year ago I would have laughed and told you what a stupid remark you're making. Therapy is not easy. Recovery is not linear.
Here is me, before depression. Before my OCD. Before my eating disorder.
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I was happy. But also withdrawn. I began starving myself and self harming pretty badly. I was obese and resorted to binging as a way to gain control. My control took over my life and eventually led to my OCD. It's been something I've been struggling with a lot. And in therapy for almost a year. I still live with it, and having an EDNOS. It's not easy at all. Here is me now
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I've found my sense of style. I have lost a lot of weight, and I have relapsed badly. I've been in and out of places to get help, but I've finally found somewhere that works for me. Recovery isn't quick or straight forwards. My OCD means that some days I cannot function or get out of bed, but yet again some days it can make me feel on top of the world- I can associate ideas with colours, I am creative, and I'm very much a hands-on person. Here's me now. Recovering. Eating isn't always easy. I'm not necessarily underweight- but I'm nowhere near what I used to be. Some days I can happily easy biscuits in bed and then other days vegetables scare me. It's okay to have good and bad days. I've been thinking recently. A lot. And probably too much for my own good- but, I just came across an idea that needed to be shared... One of the greatest things about life is that how you perceive it determines what you get from it. The lens through which you look at the world roadmaps your success. All we are is a compilation of the things we see and the beliefs we hold. Which brings me to a very interesting question; why are human beings so inclined to limit themselves and their abilities? Why do we bring life to stopping points, to barriers that are simply not there? See, in the world we know, every day of our lives is consumed by rules, laws, limitations. If I throw a rock into the air it's going to hit a certain point, come to a stop, and fall back down to earth. That's science. That result can be mathematically proven and there's really no debate about it. The issue though, and one of the most tragic elements of human behaving is when that exact certainty, that limitation, is applied to potential. Because potential is not a thing, potential is an idea. Visualise someone who has just ran a mile in 6 minutes. That's a good time, something to be proud of. The question though, is what tangible evidence, what proof does that individual have that they couldn't have run 5mins 59? Or 5:50? 5:30? So often we stop because we believe we've done enough. We're comfortable right where we are, we know what the standard is, and we act accordingly. But just imagine a life without these false limits. Imagine the possibilities that exist for those who set their own standards. I believe it truly is the difference between ordinary and extraordinary. Going back a few years, when the first man created the car, if he had asked the world what they wanted, they would have said "faster horses" because that was the standard. A new possible hadn't been defined yet. And this supports the fact that reality is whatever you decide it's going to be. That mentality has been held by anyone who's made a positive impact in my life, anyone who's exceeded expectations. Unlike that rock flying through the air, there's no defined stopping point for you other than the one you give yourself. Today is about taking that stopping point and making it disappear. It's about innovation, having the courage to step into the unknown, to push, to do the things that maybe you wouldn't. Because most people are confined to those self-induced limitations. But they don't need to be. There are 2 ways to look at any situation: 1- to simply exist through it, or 2- to have an impact, to be the defining piece, to do something memorable. Every day is an opportunity to become that standard. But you have to first believe you are. Believe that your capabilities and talents stretch far beyond what is right in front of you. Believe that possibilities are limitless, and you will see the world transform right in front of you. It will be an incredible sight to see. I want to move on and do well, and that involves writing many slates clean. Sometimes it's easier to forget (not necessarily forgive) in order to stop wasting your fuel on a fire that doesn't need to burn any longer. I see a future of improvement. Even if it means, "at least it can't get worse than it is right now". That means the only way is up. The best things in life require strength, stamina, patiences, courage, determination, and perseverance; and none of the best things will ever come easily.
