Because He's My Crush

22 - Disrespectful

[Summer's POV]

I should've seen that coming.

I should've been more careful.

I shouldn't have even started this.

The blames on myself continued to echo inside my head, not missing a single day since mom confiscated my phone. She had gone through my things and found Miles' note which I had hidden in my journal, resulting my last bit of freedom to be cut off. It was almost making me lose all hope for better days if not for Nova looking out for me at school. Apart from taking away my phone, mom didn't let me go to Nova's place either, instead allowed me to invite her to ours on days which mom was home. Hence she was as helpless as I was, no matter how much she genuinely wanted to do something for me.

I went back to a robotic schedule of school, private tutors, studies and other essential things for a human being to just get by, my serotonin cells basically going jobless for most of the time.

I didn't meet Miles or Alicia again, though I was hoping for a lucky day to come as weeks and months went by. In no time it came down to last few months of school for us as the graduation day drew nearer and nearer. Everyone was working hard to get into a good university, planning out their dream careers and sharing them with friends excitedly. I knew my future was already mapped out for me even before the fuss of graduating first appeared among the students. Mom had made it very clear that she wanted me to become a doctor and that anything below that would be considered as a failure. Although my own mother couldn't care less what I wanted, my bestfriend decided otherwise.

"Summer you can't go on like this forever. This is your life and you should be living it the way you want. Do you really want to get stuck for life with something you aren't fond of?" She said one day when we were in the school garden on our usual bench during recess.

"There's nothing I hate more than that but I'm just so scared of what she might do if I speak up." I bit my quivering lip feeling my eyes getting wet. I didn't want to cry at school, not in front of other girls.

"But you have to try. You're gonna be independent sooner or later whether your mom likes it or not. She can't keep you locked in forever and I think she knows that very well too. Even if she throws a tantrum and kicks you out, I'm always ready to take you in. I'm saying all this because I want you to have the best for yourself. You deserve to be happy and do what you love." She continued her words that gave me such a strong sense of comfort, knowing that she meant everything she said. Nova placed her hands on mine soothingly and smiled at me. "So should we try it? There's a first time for everything."

"I'm scared... But I don't want to be her puppet anymore." I decided, determined to take my life back into my hands no matter what.

"It's all going to be okay. You're going to be okay." Nova hugged me tightly and I returned the gesture, feeling so safe and calm in her arms.

It was so nerve wracking to go home that day because I knew that mom wouldn't agree to any of my words easily. She would do anything to make me stop from going against her words but I wanted to proceed anyways. It's time I live my life under a brighter light, a light that was under my control.

"Why are you standing there like that? You should be getting ready for your finals." Mom's voice made me come back to Earth after unknowingly getting lost in my own thoughts.

"I want to choose French as my university studies."

"Would you mind repeating what you just said?" Her voice sounded calm and collected but I knew it was just a facade. She was giving me a chance to change what I originally said, a chance to stop myself from going against the path she had planned for me.

"I said, I want to choose French as my university studies, not medicine."

Her eyebrows furrowed and she stood up from her seat, walking towards me with a killer gaze fixed upon my form.

"I made it very clear what path you should be taking for your life Summer. What will you do with French afterwards? Doctors get paid a lot and doctors get respected a lot. And you will study medicine to become one."

"I don't want to be a doctor!"

"You will understand when you're older that I'm doing this for your own good."

"No, you're just being selfish and dropping the dreams you couldn't achieve onto my head. It isn't about me at all!" I screamed with the frustration pent up inside me for so long. Mom seemed taken back from my words for a moment. Her eyes were doubled in size and her mouth was wide open but no words coming out.

"You were such a good girl before, what happened to you? You used to listen to me so well and now you're here being so disrespectful? Is it your friends, did they change you?"

So now I'm being disrespectful when I'm standing up for my life...

"I wasn't being a good girl mom. I was just following the orders you gave me. I don't want to do that for the rest of my life. I want to do my own thing." I said softly, making it clear that I'm done with everything. I sighed and wiped my tears away before speaking again. This time I made sure to look mom in the eyes. "I'm going to move out once the graduation is over with. You don't need to do anything anymore, I'll figure it out myself."

I stood there waiting silently to see if mom got anything to say but since she just stared at me blankly I walked towards the door, halting in my tracks and turning back to look at mom for one last time.

"And thank you for everything you've done for me so far."

[A/N]
I've got my French exam today so wish me luck guys :') And to anyone from my class who is reading this instead of studying, we're doomed✋