Nova
7|Help Me
I stare blankly at the white wall in front of me, my face impassive the only sign that I feel anything is the dried tears that fall down my face. I hold the blanket further around myself, the feeling of coldness never ending. I feel a wave of tears coming and take in a deep breath to stop them.
My phone rings beside me, my mothers name flashing. I watch at it rings and rings and rings, until it cuts off. The screen lights up again and with a groan I reach my hand out of my bed, the cold biting my skin, and hold the phone to my ear.
"Hello." I close my eyes, leaning my head on my pillow.
"Nova, how are you my love?" Her voice is soft.
"I'm fine mum, why are you calling?" I wouldn't be surprised to find her on the other side of my door.
"I'm just checking in on you. I don't want you alone at a time like this." I silently scoff.
A time like this. Why doesn't she just say it? Grayson's dead and she doesn't want me alone.
"I'm fine. I've just been busy unpacking." I say while staring at the brown boxes stacked in my room.
"I'm just worried, love." She sighs. Another tear falls from the corner of my eye, guilt crushing me.
"I'm sorry." I whisper.
"Oh honey, you don't need to be sorry. It's okay. You're going to be okay, my love." Her words just make me cry more.
I want to believe that what she's saying is true but the pain I feel every time I wake up and he's not there, every time I look up from brushing my teeth just to find that he's no longer standing behind me. It's hard to believe that I'm going to be okay when every second I'm thinking of him.
"I know. I'll talk to you soon."
"I love you. Take care of yourself." I hang up the phone and open my eyes.
The screen stares back at me, the number of voicemails getting bigger and bigger until it just stopped. I click on it.
"You have twelve new messages-
"Nova, it's me dr Anderson. I've gone over your charts, I thi-
I delete the message not wanting to go to the hospital, again. I click on the next message with a frown.
"It's dr Anderson, I couldn't reach you so I'm just call-
I delete another message. If she wanted me that bad, she'll let me know. I click on the next message.
"This is the third time I've missed you," I stare at my phone with furrowed brows. What could she possibly want? Now curios, I listen to the rest of the message, "I was hoping I could bring you down here but i think you may have turned your phone off. Anyway, something came up miss Quinn, it's best you come down." The message ends.
I click on the next one. "It's not the best, but I have to tell you over the phone for the safety of you....miss Quinn, your blood work back positive...," my heart begins to beat erratically in my chest. My blood? "Nova, you're pregnant."
I drop the phone, my hands slack. My lips part to let out a breathless cry of disbelief. My heart feels like it completely shatters inside me, my mind running at a mile a minute. The tears I've been holding in sprout out and fall down my cheeks.
I can't be pregnant. I can't.
I push myself out of my bed and hurry towards my clothes. I'm a mess, I randomly pick up some jeans and a jumper and shoving my feet in my shoes. I'm quickly out of the door and practically running towards the nearest drug store. I pass many people giving me weird looks.
Who wouldn't stop and stare at the crying girl running down the street.
I enter the store, a warm breeze washing over me. I pull the sleeves of my jumper over my hands and march down the aisles. I stare at the many tests In front of me with a dreading feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I grab a bunch randomly, some expensive, the cheapest, ones with one line or two and fancy ones which say pregnant. I hurry towards the counter, the lady startled by me, I throw some money down and hurry out of the store.
"Would you like a receipt!" She called after me but her yell is shut off by the cold winds that wrap around me.
I numbly wipe away the tears that continue to fall, my nose stinging from the cold, in my haste to leave I don't bring a coat to protect me. I climb the stairs to my apartment with a heavy heart. Finally, I make it into my apartment thankful I left the heating on.
I grab a water bottle from the kitchen and walk into to the bathroom. I down the water bottle as fast as I can and rip open a test. I pee on each stick, flipping them around so I can't see the results. When ever test is done I slide my body down the wall and take a deep breath.
I beg and beg that I'm not pregnant, that she got it all wrong and it's just a mistake. I dread to be pregnant and not have Grayson there. To have to explain to my child that there father is dead. To have to see my child and perhaps see a version of him inside them.
I don't think I could go through that and come out alive. I've just accepted that he's gone, laid him to rest and now...I could open up that wound to a whole other level. I jump when the timer on my phone goes off. I stare at the tests with teary eyes, my body not willing to move.
I stop the timer and pull myself up from the floor. I swallow as I look down at them, with a shaky hand I reach for one of the test and slowly flip it over. I stare at the results, my breath stuck and my mind blank.
I pick up another and the same feeling fills me whole. I pick up another and another until they have all been turned around, the results staring up at me, shaming me, taunting me. Gripping a test I'm my hand, I fall to the floor letting out a loud cry.
My chest hurts, my cry's bouncing off of the walls. I fold in on my self, crying and crying. It hurts so much I blindly reach for my phone and call the only person I can think of.
On the third ring, they pick up.
"Nova, what's up?"
"Nova?"
"Help me." I cry.
"What's wrong? Where are you?" I hear shuffling in the background and the sound of a car door closing.
"Please, help me Liam."
I pull away from the phone, crying.
***
...soooo, how are we all feeling? Sorry for the late update, we were doing so good.
I know some of you may not be happy about the news but it was hinted and I feel like if I didn't do it, it would be extremely unrealistic.
Make sure to comment vote and follow!
Stay stunning.
Bella. Xx
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