Downton Abbey: All Is Fair In Love And War

My Darling

The Great War,
August 1916

"It was boring here while you took your leave" Thomas said as they were finally reunited in the safety of their dugout. It was nearing two years since they first had found each other in the trenches and nothing much had changed — except how much closer the two men had come to be.

"As was it when you took your leave, where did you go?" Matthew asked from the chair where he sat, glancing over battle plans while Thomas laid upside down in the cot while reading from a book.

"I went to do some research" He said and took the cigarette from his mouth and then sat upright on the bed.

"Research?" Matthew raised his eyebrow at the Corporal who nodded in return.

"Did you know that, despite many still finding it immoral, sodomy is not considered a crime in the eyes of the law in the French colonies?" Thomas looked up from his book and gave Matthew a cheeky grin as Matthew seemed flustered. "Something about a privacy law, what goes on behind closed doors is your own private matter"

Thomas moved from the cot, tossed the book aside, and walked over to Matthew who had drawn his attention back to the papers before him, trying not to take notice of Thomas Barrow — which was seemingly impossible for him to do. "So what we are doing is not illegal upon these lands." Thomas said as he sat beside Matthew on his designated chair — who mumbled something about the bible, British laws and God.

Thomas took Matthew's chin underneath his thumb and tilted his head up "You have never been a God-fearing man, my darling" He teased "You are a solicitor, you follow the law and evidence before you..." Thomas leaned forwards and traced his lips along Matthew's jawline and felt Matthew's entire body tremble so terribly that the table shook as well. "....or do you follow what might have been said by someone in the sky, claiming that he created us all?"

Matthew turned his head and their lips brushed together, his eyes closed and once again his heart came to a violent jolt from the mere touch of Thomas Barrow. Thomas gave him a gentle, sweet, kiss to the lips. "Don't fear, Matthew, we are abiding by the law of France, we are doing nothing wrong in the eyes of it." He whispered

Matthew nodded and brushed their noses together to steal another kiss but Thomas had already pulled away. The Corporal pulled out a cigarette, shoved it between his lips, and lit it up before picking up the stack of playing cards that had laid on the edge of the table. He began shuffling them with a wide, cheeky, smile in Matthew's direction.

"So what did you do during your leave? More dancing with your sweetheart?" Thomas chuckled from where he sat and looked down at the ashes that had fallen upon his shirt; and it was lucky that he did. If he hadn't he would've caught the guilt that flashed across Matthew's face.

His leave had been something rather different. His lie about Lavinia had caught up with him in London. Her father had invited him again, blessing their wishes for courting. At first it had taken Matthew aback but Mr Swire had spoken of how his friend, Captain Flintworth, had called upon his office on his own leave, speaking praise over how dignified Matthew had carried himself in speaking of his sweetheart — Mr Swire's daughter. Lavinia herself had seemed confused but happy to hear it, whispering to Matthew over dinner that she had hoped the dance would have meant something more for him too.

Matthew felt like an utter fool, it had only meant to be a lie to cover his secret meetings with Thomas, to dispel rumours. Now he found himself engaged, in the blink of an eye, he had somehow agreed to marry Lavinia — truly a sweet girl which caused Matthew even more guilt. Now Thomas sat here joking about it without knowledge that the lie now held truth. Though, that was not all, for in London they had also promoted him to Captain; clearly the doing of Captain Flintworth once again. It should please Matthew, to rise in rank, but it meant his removal from this trench and to another where he would serve as Captain instead of Lieutenant — and the man smoking and smiling, dealing out cards was clueless. Matthew touched his chest, his heart felt like a thousand daggers digging into him when thought of leaving Thomas. Oh god, Matthew thought with widened eyes as the realisation hit him, he had really fallen for Thomas Barrow, hadn't he? Why else would his heart feel like it was breaking?