Downton Abbey: All Is Fair In Love And War

If You Were The Only Boy In The World

Downton Abbey,
April 1919

Spring blossomed and bloomed — as did the staircase of Downton Abbey. The flowers were draped around the bannister of the staircase and the wedding cake was being prepared. In the midst of it all stood Thomas and Matthew; both looking as crestfallen as the next. Their meetings in the trench had brought on the lie that had brought this wedding upon them. Everyone else was in high spirits, everyone but Sybil, Thomas and Matthew. Though Matthew seemed to be able to put on a brave face; braver than most who were about to be bound forever to an innocent woman that he didn't love. This also marked the day of Thomas returning as a footman, he could not bear watching every kiss Lavinia would give Matthew, he could not stand watching them share a bed.

Thomas believed that there would be no more of him and Matthew after he had been wed. Soon children would be born, children and an Earldom would come. "In another life, another world, this could have been our day." Thomas said to Matthew before turning the corner to the servants' hall to settle back into his old role as the unkind footman — because without Matthew that was all he was.

"You're truly going through with this?" Sybil walked across the entrance hall from the staircase where she had observed the two secret lovers. "To be wedded to Lavinia in two days when we both know that is not where your heart lies." He said and eyed her cousin disapprovingly.

"I have responsibilities." Matthew replied, looking anywhere but at Sybil's face.

"But you also have one to yourself and your own heart" Sybil pleaded with him "You stole his heart, brought light to his darkened life, and now you intend to take it all away?" When Matthew didn't reply Sybil sighed "I love you, Cousin Matthew, but I do not like you right now — sometimes gentlemen think they have the best intention when in truth they are the cruellest and I am glad my heart does not belong to one." She said and stormed off upstairs; she longed to be gone from these rules and duties; to just be with Tom in Ireland where she could be Mrs Branson to everyone.

At dinner that night the illness broke out with Lady Grantham, two maids, Mr Carson and Lavinia all falling sick. The two latter seemed to be in quite good health despite it being Spanish Flu. Lady Grantham was worse off and Doctor Clarkson was running from room to room to try and tend to them all while Thomas was all hands on deck.

In the grand entrance Matthew stood, fiddling with a gramophone he didn't seem to be able to start. Thomas had come from the servants' staircase and he watched Matthew from the shadows and his heart was leaping out of his chest; craving Matthew with every beat it made. How could he let this be the end of them?

"Mr Carson doesn't seem too bad off, neither does your blooming bride" Thomas announced his presence and it caused Matthew to jump.

"I'm glad to hear it." He said, glancing from the gramophone to Thomas who stepped towards him.

"You can't get it to work?" Thomas circled around Matthew and stopped by the pillar closest to the gramophone. He had tried to stay away from Matthew, but he never could — no matter how much it would hurt. Thomas was broken without him.|

Matthew shook his head and he stared intently at the record on the player. "I thought it would bring some merriment ..." He said and his mind instantly went to the trenches, where he and Thomas had brought merriment to each other. Matthew's mind was filled with all the memories, with all they had done, and his heart ached because of the love he had for Thomas Barrow.

"Why don't you just sing to bring merriment" Thomas said boldly.

Matthew's head turned slowly to look at the man whom he loved, oh god — how he loved Thomas . Thomas knew his mind, they had been thinking as one in remembering France and their dance. How could he do this? How could he throw this man away? So Matthew held his hand out and said "Come on then."