Michael's Point Of View ~
I grab my car keys from the kitchen counter bench top, now holding them in my hand. Odie's lead in the other. I look down at him. He looks happy . . he is happy. He is ready to go. But I'm waiting on someone else.
"Mother, come on. We are ready to go . . "
I yell out. The overwhelming smell of my mothers perfume invades my nostrils as she finally emerges out of the bathroom, to where Odie and I are waiting for her. It's not what you think. Mother was touching up her hair and makeup in the bathroom mirror.
"Are you ready? . . " I ask.
She nods her head, a smile on her face. She takes Odie's lead out of my hand, holding it in hers now. Mother loves him. The very first day I brought him home . . she was in love. And Odie loves her too. Well, he loves every person that comes along . . he is very friendly. We all walk out. I close and lock my apartment door behind us. Mother and Odie walking in front of me. I smile at the sight . . this makes me so happy. Mother, Odie and I are spending the day together. I feel bad. I have been so busy with work that I haven't seen mother as often as I normally would . . not as often as I would like to.
So I'm really looking forward to it.
Nothing too special, just catching up. Mother and I. But it has been a few months since we have so it's special to me. Odie jumps up into the back of the car while mother sits in the passenger seat. I start the engine as I am sitting in the drivers seat now. I look to my left, seeing mother sitting elegantly with her handbag placed on her lap. I can her Odie in the back, moving around in excitement. I open the window, but not all the way . . he sticks his head out immediately. He is ready to go. The drive is quite, but conversation still flows here and there. Mother is looking out the window as she observes her surroundings . . pointing out things as we go. The breeze is warm. Inviting. A sense of comfort, even. The whoosh sound as cars around us pass by.
"Such a beautiful day . . " Mother says.
I look at her quickly before I look back at the road in front of me.
I smile.
"It is a beautiful day, mother. It really is . . " I say back to her softly.
My favourite cafe shop is before me. Car parked now as we hop out. Odie is urgent to be let out of the car. I approach the passengers door, his tail wagging faster and faster. My hand on the handle of the car door . . a cry is heard from him as I'm apparently not opening it quickly enough. Mother takes hold of his lead one again.
"Can we grab some coffees? . .
Mother asks, pointing towards the cafe. I smile, wanting my morning coffee myself. I nod . . giggling actually as we are already making our way towards the cafe even before mother asked the question. I tell mother to stand aside while I wait in line to order our coffees.
My mind wonders.
Leaving reality for a little while. I think about Anika. I'm thinking of her. It's a brand new day . . so I can't help but to think about what she might be doing today. Is she thinking about me? . . no, of course not. I wonder why she is back in town. Is her grandmother ill? Or is Anika just visiting, staying for only a few days before she leaves once again? I feel so anxious . . so very uneasy at the thought. I don't know. I don't know anything. When I saw her, I didn't get the chance to speak to her properly last night. It hurt me to walk away from her. I didn't want to.
It's like it hurt all over again.
I'm next in line, my turn now. I order my usual order which hasn't changed in years. I know mothers coffee order . . yes, because she also reminded me before I got into line but I remember it. I stand to the side, waiting for our orders to come into existence. Mother comes to stand beside me with Odie. Latte, flat white and the occasional long black are called out to be picked up from their eager consumer.
"Small almond cappuccino . . " . .
The barista calls out. My ears hear a coffee order that takes me back immediately. My eyes looking all around for the individual who ordered that particular coffee. The order called out once again . . my eyes continuing to look around, somewhat frantically.
"Oh that's me . . " I hear behind me.
I whip my head back to look behind me. That was always Anika's coffee order. But it isn't Anika. But another young women. I run my fingers through my head, hanging it down. I close my eyes, shaking it very slightly. However, mother sees this. I feel a small nudge on my arm. I look at her. Her face is concerned.
"Michael, are you okay? What's wrong? . . " She asks me.
Should I tell her? Well, I'm sure she'll find out anyways living in this small town of ours. But I'll wait. I'll tell her when we get away from all these people surrounding as they too wait for their coffees. Oh perfect. Our coffees now ready, our orders called out. I give them my thanks before we take them away. My lips and taste buds not waiting any longer. We walk away from the cafe, coming onto the sand as the smell of salt is all around. But I tell mother I don't wish to sit down at the beach . . nothing but heartbreak and misery there to me. There is just too many shades of her. Mother doesn't question, thank goodness. She understands. We continue walking until I see grass. A tacky, old brown bench seat is seen. We sit down side by side. Odie now off his lead . . able to run around freely but a watchful eye will be kept.
"Michael, what's wrong? . . " She asks me once again, it's a soft tone.
I take a deep breath. Mother doesn't know. All she knows is that Anika moved away years ago. But that's all she knows. She doesn't know about that night at the beach. The real reason why I didn't want to go and sit at the beach, on the sand. Like I would always love to do. But after that night with Anika, the beach isn't a place I find any kind of comfort anymore. I didn't tell mother any of that. I told mother that Anika had left town . . and that's all. She doesn't know the reason why she left. Ugh, I don't even know the answer to that question myself. It's a question I have continued to ask myself years later. And never getting an answer still after 10 years . . well, that's just something that has troubled me throughout.
"Michael, please talk to me . . " Mother says softly.
" . . I saw Anika at work last night . . " I say.
I pause. Looking in front of me. I can't yet look at mother. I have a sip of my coffee, perhaps that will give me the strength to look at mother. It does, my eyes slowly looking towards her. Mother's face says it all . . she is so shocked. It's like she can't believe her ears. She places her hand upon her chest.
"Anika? . . good heavens. I haven't heard that name in 10 years . . " She says.
Before mother can say anything else. I speak.
"I was working mother, I couldn't talk to her properly . . "
"Did Anika tell you where she is staying while she is in town? . . " Mother asks.
I nod. "At her grandmothers . . "
Mother places her hand on my lower arm.
"How long is Anika in town for? . . "
I just shrug at her question. Feeling myself become anxious.
"Speak to her, Michael . . " She tells me.
Mother means well but she doesn't know. It's hard for me . . it's so hard. I wasn't expecting to see Anika. I didn't think I would see Anika ever again. The way she left. It said it all for me. Anika didn't want to come back here, I feel she didn't want to ever come back here. But she is here. And I don't know why. What would I even say to Anika? I had to force all of my feelings for her away the day I found out she left and bury them deep, deep down within me. Forcing myself to never look at old pictures of us or think about her in any way. Well, I tried anyways. After she was gone, that's all I did. I was sad . . I was hurt. But after all that, I still loved Anika. So very much. I still do to this day.
I should speak to Anika. I will and I tell mother that.
But I don't tell mother anything more.
. . her heart will break, just like mine did.
to be continued.
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𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐔𝐬
FantasyIt starts with Anika. She is a married women, living in the suburbs of the busy city of Sydney with her husband. But when she gets news that her grandmother isn't well, she doesn't hesitate in going back to her small home town of Airlie Beach, Queen...