𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐔𝐬

Part 23 ~ Kiss At Midnight

Anika's Point Of View ~ 

The beeping of the machine, the slight buzzing sound of the fluorescent lights, the faint drip-drip of the transfusion and the occasional sound from the nurses station outside, a little bit down the hall. The hospital room is indeed stuffy, smelling like a type of disinfectant. I look at the room. I see as she walls display no colour, only an off white. No paintings in sight as it's instead bare. The flowers that sit on grandmothers beside table is the only source of hue. 

Lisa sent those. 

She really is the sweetest. I don't know what I would do without her. Grandmother lays still, her soft breathing is heard as her chest rises and falls in her slumber. My thumb gently rubbing the top of her hand as I hold it in mine. It has been two days since grandmothers fall. I am still angry at myself. How can I not be? I should've been there. Ugh. I told grandmother what's needs to be done . . and she agreed. Thank god. My heart racing as I told her, tears falling. With the thought alone of not knowing how she would react. But I was wrong. She did understand. I step out of the room for a few minutes. The seats that sit just outside against the wall remain unoccupied. I sit down lazily. 

It's almost midnight. 

It's quiet . . very quiet. 

The hospital feeling completely deserted with only the nurses seen walking the hallways. I spoke to Darren before. But nothing was said about Michael. Not yet. It's something that can't be said over the phone. That isn't right. I need to see him in person. I will. I will tell him everything about Michael . . when I go back home. As for grandmother, I told Darren about placing her into a nursing home. That way, grandmother would get the daily care she certainly needs. And I would get the help I certainly need. I will visit her, of course. Lisa told me she is going to organise it all for me . . that I don't need to worry about any of it. Once it's all done, Lisa will just fill me in. I lean back in my seat . . thinking. 

About Michael. 

I wonder what he is doing. He has texted me but I haven't yet got around to getting back to him. My phone now in front of me . . these thumbs of mine in no time find his name in my contacts. I just wish to say hello. To talk to him after the past two days of being a complete mess, in total absence. It rings . . however, there is no answer. Hmm. Well, it is very late. With only five minutes until midnight. Maybe he is asleep? 

Maybe he's working? 

Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me?

It's possible, anything is. My entire self heats up as I remember his touch. The intense look in his eyes, the husk in his voice. His breath on my skin. The way he smelt . . hmm, a smell that has never changed. But it's the feeling of his hands. Those hands of his are my addiction. My medication. 

It's something that I keep going back to. 

How I have missed that feeling of his touch for these last 10 years. Such a long period of time without something that is so fucking stimulating. I hear footsteps. I listen as they get louder and louder . . seeming to be approaching me. It causes me to look towards this unidentified individual. It's a nurse. Her smile bright but soft. Her voice is heard after she stands in front of me. 

"Everything okay, miss? . . " 

I actually smile. Grandmother is doing well. The past two days have been a challenge but coming through to the other side of it has been such a relief. 

"Yes, she is sleeping . . " 

I say. My thumb pointing behind me, towards the ajar door of grandmothers room. 

"Out here to breathe, I guess . . " 

I chuckle softly at my last sentence. The nurse does the same, seeming to understand what I mean. She sweetly informs me not to be shy, her and other colleagues are close by if I need anything at all. She walks away. Her footsteps this time, getting softer in sound. A sigh escapes from my lips. I look out to my left. Towards the large window that sits at the end of this hallway. The world is dark now. Not a car in sight as it is a time to sleep. To retreat away from the rush that life can bring. The sight of unlit buildings, unpopulated. Before the sun will rise, the clock marked 7am. The only source of light is the street lights. They stand side by side . . the bright illumination each one brings makes me feel like I am not the only person existing. The moon tonight . . it's full, beaming. Then there is the stars. Tiny, and every one is perfectly placed all around the moon to keep it company. The trees still. The wind isn't out tonight. It doesn't wish to blow and instead choosing to sleep like everyone else. I hear the sound of footsteps once again. The nurse is coming back to check on me . . she is so sweet. I look to my right. My eyes turn wide as I see that it isn't the nurse. 

It's Michael. 

I stand up from my seat, facing him as he still walks. Slower as he approaches me. He stops in front of me. What is Michael doing here? I tried to call him but there was no answer. And now he's here. 

"Hi Michael . . " I say, smiling. 

"Anika. Hello . . " He says softly. 

His smile infectious. He places he hands behind his back. He seems nervous. Oh man. So am I. His voice soft, I always said to myself that I could listen to it for hours. 

"How is she? . . " Michael asks me. 

I look at the ajar door. "She is good. Just sleeping now . . " I tell him. 

"Which is what I thought you were doing too. I called you . . I . . " 

I look down at my feet. I don't know why. But I feel a rush of embarrassment shoot through me leaving me unable to finish what I was just saying. I brush a stand of my hair behind my ear. I am left stranded . . helpless all of a sudden. Thoughts of many rushing in my mind. It frightens me. Michael came all this way. And for what? To tell me he doesn't wish to see me anymore? From the memory of us . . the memory of when we were us. Or that night on the beach especially, as it is bringing nothing but pain to him. It may just be too much still for him. I feel as my body starts to slightly shake. My hands, my knees, my legs. My entire animation. 

Please Michael don't leave me. 

Don't do what I regret doing to you. 

Michael steps forward. 

He is right in front of me now. 

His eyes looking into mine. He doesn't let his leave mine. I'm the same. However, I can see a hand of Michael's come up slowly to my face. My vision weak suddenly from the feeling of his touch upon my cheek, a thumb of his gently brushes my skin there. His chocolate brown eyes sparkle yet again. The sight of them makes my heart pound. His eyes drop but only faintly, leaving my eyes . . now looking at my lips. The small gap between us is closed as Michael leans down, kissing my lips. I close my eyes as I kiss him back. Our lips attached. My hands come up from my side as they grip onto his shirt. Everything around me isn't there anymore. It's only Michael and I. The kiss broken now . . but the sensation remains. My eyes dart away from Michael but only for a second to look at the clock that sits on the wall of this hospital hallway. 

It's midnight. 

A kiss at midnight. 

My eyes back onto Michael's immediately, his do the same. His voice soft, softer than usual. His touch warm as his hand doesn't leave at my cheek . . my skin there caressed gently by his thumb. 

"I love you too, Anika . . " 

"You just left so suddenly the other day after news of your grandmothers fall . . " 

"I didn't get the chance to say it back . . "

He says, almost whispering it to me. His lips finding mine again after such intoxicating dialogue. I feel my body completely relax this time around. There is no sense of panic and the feeling of embarrassment seems to have disappeared now. 

to be continued.