Part 35 ~ Black Rose

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Anika's Point Of View ~

The black dress hugs my body. My fingers grab an earring from off the kitchen bench. I walk over to the nearest mirror. I feel it glide through the hole on my earlobe before I place the backing to keep it in place. 

"Oh, thank you . . " 

I say softly as Lisa hands me the other earring. It's quiet . . very quiet. Her hand is upon my shoulder. But Lisa doesn't speak. I do the same, really. What is there to say? I hear the click-clack of Lisa's heels as she wonders aimlessly around as I remain at the mirror still. The last earring in now. My face long, emotionless . . but I know it won't stay that way for long. 

Hair in a bun, only light makeup on as I know that my tears will wash it away at some point today. Okay, I'm ready to go . . I think. From the corner of my eye, I see Lisa return as she stands to the side of me. I look to my left, at Lisa. She too, wears a black dress with stockings and heels. Her blonde hair remaining in her traditional undo style as well as her red lipstick. Lisa didn't need to come but she insisted. After I spoke to Michael, I spoke to Lisa . . and told her everything. She was speechless, as was I. 

I still am. 

Lisa didn't want me to come alone, so she found something black among her piles of colour and told me she was coming with me. 

Michael told me he wanted to come too. 

I thought about it. But then thought it was best if he didn't. I figured it would keep me more . . together, I suppose, if Michael didn't come. When I told him, when I spoke to him after it happened, I was a mess. The strength I wanted so badly to demonstrate no longer existed in that moment. It was a mix of many things - the sound of Michael's voice, the realisation of what had just occurred before my eyes minutes before, just knowing my grandmother, the women who raised me is . . now gone. 

"Ready, Anika? . . " 

Lisa asks me softly. Deep breath, Anika. "Yeah, let's get going . . " 

The front door of Lisa's house opens. I told myself not to but I can't help it. My eyes looking over to grandmother empty house as it sits next door. As I look, I feel the wind blow gently. 

I feel like it's grandmother, like she trying to talk to me. 

Trying to say . . it's okay. 

The car ride is silent. I want to talk to Lisa but because of todays schedule, I just can't seem to find any words. The church now before us. Glasses immediately on to cover my eyes as I feel myself want to cry already. The sun is out, feeling it on me as I walk towards the church. I see the funeral director. John. He walks over to Lisa and I, slowly but surely. Once I'm within his reach, a hand is upon my arm. 

"Anika. Today is a day to lay her to rest and most of all, to celebrate her life . . " 

I look around, seeing many people begin to arrive as the service is soon to start. I take a deep a breath as I know that within seconds, I am going to be flooded with condolences. Lisa remains by my side as I continue to speak with John. 

"Exactly. Celebrate her life . . " 

I respond softly, forcing a smile. 

It begins. Many come over to me, a handshake for those who I don't know, but they knew grandmother well. It's so nice that they have come. But for those that I do recall, I give them a hug. But it's a women that comes to me next . . she seems familiar. Do I know her? Do I? With a soft smile on her face, she greets me in quite a loving manner actually. Her arms around me as she hugs me and I welcome it, my arms around her to hug her back. As she breaks the hug, she takes hold of both my hands in hers. Her eyes looking right into mine. My mind thinking, thinking hard. 

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