DIVINE » l. valdez

a tale of woe and pain (much like lester's acne)

Hina was ten seconds away from giving up and creating the biggest distraction possible so the rest of the group could escape.

Thankfully, Leo had other plans. "Bulldozer," he whispered, startling Hina with how close he was to her. 

"Is that a code word?" Apollo asked, his eyes darting between the two.

She nodded in understanding, taking Calypso's weight off his shoulders. Hina hoisted Calypso's arm over her neck, careful not to jostle her broken hand too much.

"No. I'm going to sneak over to the bulldozer. You distract the metalheads," Leo instructed. 

"Are you crazy?" Calypso hissed, obviously unhappy about being abandoned with her new compay.

Leo gave a classic smile and thumbs up combo, carefully stepping to the side.

"Oh!" Nanette beamed. "Are you volunteering to die first, short demigod? You did hit me with fire, so that makes sense."

Knowing how much his height annoyed him, Hina was surprised Leo didn't abondon his original plan to argue with Nanette about how he actually wasn't the shortest person on their quest.

Apollo seemed to sense the possibility of their plan failing over a height dispute and shouted, "I volunteer for death!"

The entire mob turned to look at him, their belly-level eyes blinking in disbelief. 

"But first," he gulped before continuing, "hear my plea, O, merciful blemmyae!"

The policeman whom Leo had torched lowered his gun. A few green embers of Greek fire still smoldered in his belly beard. "What do you mean, hear my plea?"

  "Well," Apollo said, "it's customary to hear the last words of a dying man...or god or demigod or...what would you consider yourself, Calypso? A Titan? A demi-Titan? And uh, well, I think Hina's exempt because she's kinda dead, like half-dead or maybe on a life rental?"

Calypso cleared her throat with a noise that sounded suspiciously like idiot, if not for the life-threatening situation Hina would've reminded Calypso that she had offered no help for distracting the blemmyae. 

"What Apollo is trying to say, O, merciful blemmyae, is that etiquette demands you grant us a few last words before you kill us. I'm sure you wouldn't want to be impolite."

The blemmyae looked offended, their pleasant smiles dropping into frowns as they shook their metal heads. Nanette shuffled forward, her hands raised in a placating manner. "No, indeed! We are very polite."

"Extremely polite," the policeman clarified.

"Thank you," Nanette said.

"Listen, then!" Apollo cried. "Friends, frenemies, blemmyae...open your armpits and hear my sad tale!"

Leo stood another sidestep, leaving only fifty-four left between him and the bulldozer and Hina wasn't sure Apollo could keep the blemmyae's attention for that long.

"I am Apollo!" He began. "Formerly a god! I fell from Olympus, cast down by Zeus, unfairly blamed for starting a war with the giants!"

"I'm going to be sick," Calypso muttered. "Let me sit down."

"Shut up," Hina whispered at the same time Apollo replied, "You're breaking my rhythm."

"You're breaking my eardrums. Let me sit!" Calypso demanded, breaking Hina's eardrum in the process.

"Fine!" Hina snapped, steering Calypso to the nearby fountain and setting her down on the retaining wall.

Nanette raised her street sign. "Is that it? May I kill you now?"