DIVINE » l. valdez

one month

❝and life is full of rotten deals, you got no clue just how it feels ❞

Hina felt like broken glass. Shattered beyond repair, her friends tiptoeing around to avoid making a bigger mess. 

She could see it in the way they acted around her. 

Will's voice was always quieter than usual, his eyes a little softer. He would send her knowing glances throughout the day, silently assessing her, like she was his patient. He would sit beside her at meals, making sure she ate before he started.

Piper was more forward, her catchphrase slowly morphing into, "how are you feeling, Hina?" She would fix Hina with a stern glance, extracting the truth from her with ease. It was impossible to hide anything from Piper even with the girl miles away in California.

Jason had a subtle approach, his diplomacy taking control. He sent letters every few weeks, and checking in via Iris message when he can. It was almost humorous, the almighty Jason Grace stumbling over his words, nerves abundant in his actions.

Still, nothing could make Hina feel better. It felt like everyone of her friends had someone to lean on. Percy had Annabeth, Frank had Hazel, Piper and Jason. Even Will had found solstice in Nico. 

Yet, Hina felt lost. A piece missing from who she had become. Whether he knew it or not, Leo Valdez had helped rebuild Hina from the broken glass she once was. And now, with him gone, Hina felt like someone had pushed her over the edge again.

Leo,

It's me again, it's been a month since you disappeared.

I've been adjusting to it all, I guess. I've been able to fall asleep now, but I can't seem to stop the nightmares. Will has taken me to the Hypnos cabin a dozen times now, but they can't do much to help. 

I don't mind though, it gives me extra time to figure out what to write to you. 

I can tell it's starting to bother the other campers, Chiron and Will set me up teaching a simple music class, just teaching new campers the usual campfire songs and a few easy instruments. Normally, it would be easy. I could teach it in my sleep, but now, I'm thrown off my rhythm.

Everything will be fine, I'll have my ukulele and be going over that song about the centaurs throwing a party, but the next moment I can't remember the melody, and the words sound foreign to me. 

On the bad days, something will set me off and I'll be in a whole other world from camp.

The only person who hasn't snapped at me yet is Harley.

Harley misses you a lot. You know, he really looks up to you. He likes to sit with me and tinker on his inventions while I write sometimes. He's made everyone on the crew tell him every single Leo centric story they can remember, he keeps asking me, but I'm not ready yet.

I worry that if I tell our stories out loud they be special anymore.

I don't want to tell him about our days in the Bunker working on the Argo or when you taught me to steer the ship. They're too close to my heart. 

I know I should, I could pass on our stories before I'm gone from this earth too. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what I saw in the Underworld.

It's desolate. How can you be there? You deserve so much more. I should be in the ruins of life, not you. 

I feel so sick, thinking about those swirling whirlpools, they were ready to engulf everything in its path. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. 

I'm just Hina. I can't stop some magical force, or bring you back. I'm not Percy, or Jason, or Annabeth. I can't do what they can. 

Love, Ina