DIVINE » l. valdez

two months

❝ when everyone expects so much you can barely stand ❞

It had taken two months for everyone to feel comfortable again but it was finally the first game of capture the flag since the battle with Gaea.

Clarisse had insisted on one last game before she left for university and no one would argue with her. So, all the demigods stood divided into two teams, covered head to toe in armor. 

Hina was sandwiched between Will and Kayla, each sporting a golden bow with a quiver full of arrows strapped on their backs. They were deep in the woods, tasked with defending the team's flag. 

Everything was fine, until the first attack happened.

From behind her, an Ares kid bashed their two swords together. Hina recognized them, Sam, one of the older demigods, who was getting ready to leave for the year.

However, at the sound of cool metal scraping against metal, alarm bells rang through Hina's body. Her body froze, unable to move against her attacker. Thankfully, Sam was controlled enough to pull their weapon back in time as Will shouted. 

Suddenly, Hina didn't feel as safe as before. Her brain kept screaming for her to run, but she felt frozen in place. By the time she could move, her knees had given out and Hina was leaning weakly against a tree, blinding light shielding her from the world. 

Her eyes couldn't focus as they searched wildly for any threat, her hands shakily loading her bow. When a hand grabbed her shoulder, Hina released, sending an arrow haphazardly into the clearing. 

She heard a scream, and then Will's face came into her view. 

"Hey, Hina, hey, it's okay," he promised quietly, his Greek armor no longer covering his torso. "You're safe. We're at camp, you're okay."

By then, a ring of demigods had appeared, watching the scene with wide eyes. On one side of the clearing stood Sam, watching, their helmet now tucked under their arm. Opposite, was Will, holding Hina upright, her head buried in his shoulder.

Hina was escorted to the Big House, where Chiron waited with cookies and iced tea. He had situated himself into his fake wheelchair on the front porch, his face grim.

The entire walk, Hina couldn't stop thinking about what would have happening if she had hurt someone. Thankfully, her aim had been completely off, the arrow missing Sam by ten feet, but still, the thought chilled Hina.

Chiron poured a glass of iced tea for Hina. She held it, the cold glass keeping her focused on where she was.

"I- I don't know what happened, Chiron. I'm so sorry," Hina spoke frantically, the tea in her cup dangerously close to spilling as her hands shook.

The centaur nodded solemnly, taking a long sip before replying, "Perhaps it is best you take some time away from training. Let your mind heal from the war."

Hina nodded, quietly excusing herself.

Sitting in her bed, Hina took out the neglected paper and pen from her shelf.

It's been awhile. I wrote my last letter around three weeks ago and not much has changed. Most days I do what I can: get out of bed, put on clean clothes, and eat with everyone at dinner.

Piper has been trying to get me to do more, something I enjoy. Nothing helps though. I don't have the energy to sing during the campfire, or even writing back to Piper. 

I know what people are saying, that I've given up, that I'm not trying, but gods, Leo, I am trying so hard live my life, but how can I do that when you didn't get to live yours?

I don't understand, how can I keep living my life when you and Phoebe didn't get to. Why did I have to survive? Why couldn't it have been me? 

Leo, you are so much better than I am, you deserve to be here, not me. I let you all down, I couldn't save anyone.

I tried so hard. Gods, Leo I begged the Fates to save you, I told them to let me take your place but they refused.

I hate this place so much. It's not fair. Maybe I have given up, but what does it matter? It'll make no difference to the world. No one will notice one more casualty of war.