At The Eleventh Hour || Kang Taehyun FF

After Math「chapter 32」

Song : If I would've known by Kyle Hume

Y/n POV

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'if I were to live off that help. It wouldn't be of pure intentions but of guilt. I don't need to live off that kind of sympathy. I'm not that weak..... But then agian, I'm not that strong either.'

I told taehyun

'also I don't want to make you feel committed to stay with me. If I start to rely on you, when you get bored and tired of me or when either one of us gets too toxic, you'll find it hard to leave because you think you're my emotional support.'

Keep going y/n, finish it up and let's get this done with

'besides, I've got 2 weeks till my due so why not end my suffering 2 weeks earlier right? Tell my family I tried my best and taehyun, I really treasured the moments we had together.'

I let go and walked to the barrier without looking back. My hands were shaking. Slowly, I took one step onto the barrier

There's still time to rethink this... Y/n are you sure-

I was hesitant to put my other foot on the barrier. I was shaking. My hands were shaking. I was very much afraid

Why... Why am I doing this?

I asked myself. Then my brain reminded me.

'she's so dramatic'

'i don't know if we can cover for her medical fees this month.'

'why don't you learn how to take care of yourself y/n'

'y/n stop making us so worried'

'y/n why-'

Shut up

'y/n'

Shut up

'y/n'

Shut up!

My hands were covering my ears. I was clenching my jaw.

I hate myself. I hate my name. I hate my voice. I hate my looks, my personality, everything. I hate everything about me.

I put my other foot onto the barrier

No more hesitating

I looked at the ocean in front of me. The sun was setting. The sky was beautiful.

The sunset's so beautiful...

I feel surprisingly calm considering what I'm gonna do next.

I turned around and smiled

'Tae, you were the only boy I ever loved. Maybe we'll meet each other in our next life. Hope I can win you agian.'

The purplish pink sky with a mix of orange and yellow right behind me.

'I love you, Kang Taehyun.'

tears came out of my eyes.

I didnt want to do this in front of you... But I'm not gonna delay it anymore... I'm sorry...

'see you on the other side'

Steadily, I lean my weight over to the other side. As the I fall, I could see taehyun climbing onto the barrier, reaching his hand out as if trying to catch me.

This is where it all ends. Finally. I'll be at peace

I felt my body hit the surface of the water as it consumed me.

I fell in deeper and deeper into the water.

It's too late to turn back now-

Then a picture of Taehyun appeared in my mind. A picure of him crying. So broken. So lonely

No, I've gotta live for him-

Y/n! Pull yourself together, he's fine without you!

Shut up! I don't need you to keep pulling me down. You've dragged me down to my lowest, now it's time to fight back.

I pulled myself together and started swimming up to the surface. The water was ice cold.

Just a little more. If I stay, I'm going to get hypothermia.

I reached my hand out. My lungs weren't cooperating with me but I kept swimming. Pushing myself to go up.

I don't care how painful it is, I'm gonna make it

I was starting to get short of air. I choked as my vision started to get foggy. My mind was loosing consciousness.

Fight it! Come on y/n!

My hand reached out of the water and one last time, I pushed myself up and got a deep breath of air but I couldn't keep myself afloat. Every ounce of my strength had been used. My body was failing. It was getting too cold. My lungs were failing me.

Nonono, this is not how...

I struggled and struggled but I was loosing consciousness. My eyelids refused to keep open.

I guess this is it huh... At least I could say I tried

Goodbye everyone

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Chapter 34 : punishment