Things Agents of Shield are Not Allowed to Do

1-10

1 No Agent is to claim they will die unless Coulson and May get together.

2 Not allowed to prank call members of Hydra.

2a "I was bored" will not be accepted as a good reason.

3 Calling the person who wants to kill you a "Moron who couldn't tie their own shoelaces" is not a smart thing to do.

4 Not allowed to call to yourself "Agent of Awesome".

5 Never ask May to "Bust out your ninja moves and get me the hell out of here!"

6 Not allowed to blame Skye when it was you who spilt coffee on Coulson's Captain America T-shirt because he is less likely to get mad at her.

7 The best part of being an Agent of Shield is not the possibility you might get to meet Captain America or Thor because they are both really hot, its the protecting people that's the best thing.

8 Not allowed to declare Phil Coulson a god.

8a Because he doesn't want you to.

8b Because May will kick your butt if you say it non-stop.

9 Not allowed to help Fitz build a robotic monkey ever again.

10 Why Shield never used its resources to find a cure for the common cold is something Coulson doesn't know, but really would like everyone to stop asking.