Oneshots 👹

Marvin'sLinguine(🍁)

Marvin woke up one morning and noticed something was different in his room. He pulled back the covers and noticed a single linguine noodle on the bed next to him. At first he was confused. Then he was terrified. Who had been in his house? Why had they put linguine in his bed and then left? Or worse, were they still here?

He put on his $900 Gucci slippers and climbed out of bed. The first thing he saw was another linguine noodle; this one was on the floor beside his bed. He swallowed his fear and walked along the creaky floor until he reached the door. Looking out into the hallway, he was stunned by the sight of a complex linguine trail.

It led out his bedroom door, past the bathroom and the kitchen until it turned the corner. Marvin stood in place, tempted to follow it. But first, he wanted to try and figure out how it could have gotten there.

Was anyone else in his house? No. Jason was with Trina and Mendel and Whizzer was already fucking dead, so he was alone. That thought scared him even more. If something went wrong, no one would hear him scream.

Marvin felt a cold breath of air drift down the hallway until it reached him. The linguine seemed to be calling out. He couldn't take it any longer. He picked up the first noodle off the floor and ate it.

It was... delicious.

He continued down the hall, eating every noodle that was strewn across the floor. They all tasted amazing, and he was hungry, after all, it was breakfast time, and Marvin loved his breakfast. He followed the linguine trail around the corner, and then... it stopped. Right in front of the basement door, which was closed. A chill ran though Marvin's body, but he needed more linguine, so he opened it.

The basement was colder than Whizzer's death. Marvin timidly walked down the stairs, stepping on a couple of noodles and eating the others as the trail continued. It was almost pitch black, and suddenly the worst happened. Marvin's slipper came down right on a particularly saucy noodle, and it flew our from under him along with his feet. He tumbled down the stairs, crying out.

No one could hear him.

When he got to the bottom, he examined his Gucci slipper, which was ruined. He kicked it away in frustration and tried to look around the basement, but it seemed to just be getting darker and darker.

"Hello?" he breathed.

Marvin, said a whisper. We've been waiting for you.

He froze upon hearing the voice. This wasn't how he was supposed to die. Of course he was going to eventually lol but this wasn't it. He reached out for the nearest item, which was a chimney sweep. The voices got louder, singing, Marvin, Marvin, Marvin. They reminded him of the Trolli worms.

Suddenly the light flickered on, and waiting in the basement for him were Princeton and Kate from Avenue Q. Marvins creamed and hit them both with the chimney sweep.

"Ow!" scremed Princeton. "What the fuck Marvin?!?1?!1 We're trying to help you!"

"WHYA RE YDIY IN MTY BASENET" Marvin said unintelligibly.

"We wanted to give you a gift bc we know you're sad that Whizzer died," Kate told him, handing him a present. "Sorry for breaking into your house. We wanted it to be a surprise. And we knew the only way we could get you to accept it was if we bribed you with linguine."

Marvin hugged the box against his chest. "Oh im sorry."

"Me too," said Princeton.

"Thank you both," Marvin thanked them both. "I didn't mean to hit you with a chimney sweep."

"Yes you did," Kate said.

"Well," Princeton replied. "We should get going. It was nice seeing you, Marvin."

"You too," muttered Marvin as the two puppets left hand in hand. He sat down on the basement floor, thinking about how kind the puppets' gesture was. He really had been upset since Whizzer was gone and he was glad they were reaching out to him. Wiping a tear, he opened the gift.

Inside the box was another pair of Gucci slippers. Marvin threw them in the corner and stomped upstairs.