runaway train [corpse]

the poetry. *

we adjusted fairly quickly to being alone together.

i was worried he was going to keep hiding his pain from me, but after he had eaten a few snacks (including the pineapple, which we shared), he began to open up to me about what he had been dealing with in the last few days.

in the past he had had days where his arms would stop working; those times i knew about, because he had talked about it online. on the days that i didn't see him on the train, he was faithfully going to his doctor's appointments or treating himself while at the hotel. part of what helped him, he said, was putting a brace on his arm.

this particular morning, thursday, the day we had planned to spend together, he woke up with shooting pain up and down his left arm, going all the way up to his shoulder. he couldnt get the arm brace on himself, and he didnt want to ask me to help him, so that's why he was going to cancel our plans for the day. he was going to just hole up in his hotel room and pray that the pain subsided, but our phone call made him change his mind.

with a few adjustments and some maneuvering, i was able to get the brace on his arm securely. his relief was almost immediate.

"thank you for doing that," he said, sitting on the couch. "i might actually be able to sleep tonight."

i sat next to him, careful not to bump into him. "you're welcome, Corpse. so what do you wanna do now?"

"i told Karl i would sit in on his stream today, and that's happening in like an hour."

"can i watch too?" i asked, turning toward him. "you guys are hilarious together."

he smiled at me and said, "of course."

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several hours and many laughs later, Corpse finally said goodbye to everyone on Karl's stream. i loved to hear him interacting with his friends, being his carefree and charming self. even when he wasn't actually playing the video games, his commentary and witty-one liners often had everyone online laughing loudly. even when he was feeling as bad as he was, he still looked for ways to enjoy life.

at some point during the long stream i had moved over to the couch, and was texting with Amy, getting updates from her and also letting her know that i was okay. i ended up leaving my phone on silent on the kitchen counter, while he wrapped up the last few hours.

he closed his laptop, and scooted his way over to me on the couch using the rolling chair. he was in a playful mood and i was glad to see it. he had a special glint in his eyes that had been missing when i first saw him that afternoon.

"how did i sound?" he suddenly asked.

"you sounded great, i could tell you were having such a good time," i replied, giving him a reassuring pat on the arm. "you have a really underrated sense of humor."

"you think so?"

"i know so. because i also have an underrated sense of humor. real recognizes real."

he let out a chuckle as he slid out of the chair and joined me in sitting on the couch. i naturally moved closer to him as his weight sank the cushions next to me.

he leaned his face closer to mine. "you are very real." he brushed some hair behind my ear, making my heart stop, and then leaned back comfortably into his spot.

i knew he was pleased with himself for momentarily flustering me. i guess i was just surprised in the moment that he felt so comfortable with me. he seemed to enjoy  catching me off-guard.

i cleared my throat and leaned back into my own spot. "so, how is your arm feeling now?"

"it actually feels pretty good. i might be able to take it off soon."