Promises

Chapter 22

-IVORY

I feel safer at home now with Greg gone. My mom and I are getting along better now too. My life has been coming back together. Me and Remi are back on good terms and he even invited me to a party.

We called last night for a few hours, he explained to me his problems. It upsets me to see how much he's struggling, while I was upset about my things, he was upset about his. I guess I didn't really think about it that way when I was mad.

My goal now is to help him fix his problems. I'm going to get him and his mom close again, I'm going to help him eat and get back into sport. I'm going to help him stay close to friends and not drift. I will throw away my whole life to save his.

He told me about his cutting habits, the constant suicide attempts, the bad dreams, the sleeplessness, the starvation, the pain going on throughout his whole body. He showed me every scar, every recent bruise, he explained when each one happened and why. I cry even thinking about it.

The image of his scars will haunt me till the day I die.

I sit in my room. Regretting every moment I spent without him. Every mean word I ever said to him sounds meaner now. Every time I jokingly hit him doesn't seem like a joke anymore. Me saying he looks skinny doesn't sound funny anymore. Me saying he looks like he never sleeps just doesn't seem like my place to say anymore. I feel guilty of everything I've ever said to him.

I hate myself for everything I've said and it's too late now to apologize. It won't mean anything to him anymore.

I decide it's time to stop thinking about. I get up.

"Remi attempted to commit when you weren't there for him," a voice in my head says.

I ignore the voice. I run downstairs to go grab a glass of orange juice.

"Remi has cut himself with a glass his dad threw at him," the voice speaks again.

I put the glass down, I'm not thirsty anymore.

I decide to take a nap, I have school tomorrow.

"Remi hopes he doesn't wake up every time he goes to sleep," the voice reminds me.

My eyes open instantly. I just won't sleep.

I try think of something that won't remind me of Remis pain. Tears running down my cheeks at the fact that there's nothing that doesn't remind me.

I go do homework, maybe that will distract me.

"Remi could be slitting his wrist right now,"

"Remi might be thinking about jumping off a building,"

"What if you wake up tomorrow and he isn't here anymore."

"SHUT UP." I scream at myself, sick of the voice in my head.

I run outside. I need fresh air. Maybe I'll go buy a new outfit for the party. What is Remi wearing? I want to match.

I go out window shopping, looking at cute dresses and tops I could buy for the party.

I don't know if I should go extra or no. Maybe making a dramatic reappearance would be cool. I could wear a body con dress to emphasize my curves or a bigger dress to show off that I'm better than everyone. I could also just wear a cute bralette with my favourite Levi's.

"Hey Remi, what are you wearing to the party? I want to match this weekend."

"Might wear my red hoodie you always love wearing with the light blue jeans I have. Wear something red the party is red themed."

I look around the shop for something red, something eye catching. That's when I see it. The perfect dress. It's a lace dress with a slit in the leg, a perfect burgundy colour, I can't even imagine going in with anything but this dress.

I pick it up, not even looking at the price. Do I even need to if I'm not actually paying for it? I look around and see the shop in completely empty. A worker on the other side of the shop busy laughing at something on her phone. I pull the beeper off the dress and stuff it into my bag. I walk out.

The bell above the door rings. The worker looks up to see me leave. She shrugs her shoulders and goes back on her phone.

I run down the street back home. I look at the price tag on the dress.

-REMI

"You spent how much on your dress?"

"I already told you I didn't buy it." she tells me.

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"Uh..." she hesitates.

"Spit it out," I say shaking her shoulders.

She drops her head, she looks down at her feet. Shoes turned inwards, I always love when she stands like that.

"I stole it," she whispers.

"YOU STOLE A 700 EURO DRESS?" I shout.

I didn't even mean to shout. I just didn't think of her as the type.

"I didn't know it was 700, I just took it and hoped no one would realize."

Shes lucky they didn't. At least the dress is absolutely stunning. It was worth the risk if I do say so myself.

She sat down on my bed. Her legs crossed and her head back. I was tempted to kiss her neck but I didn't think it was the right time. She looked stressed. I don't blame her, it's an expensive dress. I go over to hug her instead. She hugs me tighter than she ever has before.

"Hey? Are you ok?" I ask her, I don't think the dress is the problem anymore.

"Don't ever leave me please," she begs.

"You know you're the only one," I assure her.

"that's not what I mean," she says dropping her head on my shoulder.

She loosens her grip. She lets her arms drop beside her. She leans on to my shoulder and I hug her tight.

I know what she means now. I knew telling her wasn't the best idea. Now all she does is worry about me. I think it's time for me to fix myself up.

"Look at me," I say with a bright smile on my face.

She looks up, tears running down her blushed cheeks. Her eyes glistening from the light in my room reflecting off the tears in her eyes.

"Ever since I talked to you about everything, I've felt a lot better." I hug her again.

"It's all going to be fine, I slept well las night, and I threw out my blade and put a healing cream on all my cuts."

A small smile forms on her face. The smile on my face becomes bigger and realer. All I need to be happy is to see that she's happy too.

"You are all I need, all I need to be happy," I reassure her.

She puts her hand on the back of my neck softly.

She leans in towards my ear.

"I love you more," she whispers. She laughs and points at me.

"I said it first fuck you." she continues.

I hug her as tight as I can, cracking her spine as I do so.

"OOOOO that was a goodddd one," she laughs.

She pulls me in for a kiss. I fall back onto the bed, pulling her down with me. I drift off into another dimension as she kisses me. I put my hands on her waist and she puts hers behind my neck. I slowly bring them up higher, the feeling of the lace dress on my palms. I put one hand in her hair and she does the same to me.

We continue on cuddling.

"This is nice, isn't it?"

Is that even a question?

We stay in each other's arms. Her head on my chest and her hand on my heart. My heart rate speeding up gradually. I'm sure she can hear it as we fall asleep.