Promises

Chapter 12

-REMI

I didn't come into school the next week. I stayed locked in my room with my thoughts for hours. My dad would come in occasionally to shout at me or hit me for no reason. I had a picture of Ivory on my phone at all times. I missed her, but I can't let her see me like this. She sends me loads of messages a day saying she's worried, but I don't reply. Its better this way.

I cry myself to sleep every night. I wake up and cry again. Sometimes I don't cry, because I can't, I feel numb. That's when I have to make sure I can still feel, the way the blood trickles down my leg gives me a sense of life, then I just cry again.

"Remi, go order something to eat, I'm hungry," Mykel shouts up to me.

I pick up the phone to order my dad food, I don't eat any though. My dad doesn't realize, I just starve myself for days on end. I stand up to look at myself in the mirror and notice how my body is rotting away in here. I'm dying but I'm alive. The scars on my bruised boney body. I have gotten so skinny over these days.

I pick up my phone and finally reply to Ivory.

"Remi, where the fuck are you, you haven't been replying to my messages all day," the first message read.

"You weren't in school today I'm worried for you,"

"HEELLOO, I miss you, I just want to talk, why aren't you replying,"

"I'm sorry if I did something wrong, its ok I understand,"

"Bye Remi, I still love you, I hope you're happier now,"

I felt so guilty. Why did I leave it for so long, now she thinks I hate her? I sent her a message. It was short because I had no clue what to say. I ruined everything. She deserves so much more.

"I'm sorry, I'm still here,"

She opens it straight away. I thought she would be mad, but she was just glad to hear from me. I felt really bad. I just left her and she forgave me straight away. I feel like I'm taking advantage of her, even though I know I'm not.

"Come to school tomorrow please," she begs me. I tell her I can't yet. I didn't want to explain why.

She kept asking why I wouldn't come in. I didn't want to lie to her so I just said I can't say. She asked if it was because of my dad and I told her not exactly. If she ever found out how I really felt, she would definitely leave.

"I have to go; I'll text you later and I'll see you in a few days I promise. I still love you too by the way," I tell her.

"Ok, well I hope to see you soon."

I go take a shower and try to eat something. I try clean up my cuts before they get infected. I tidied my room and made my bed. I look in the mirror again. My arm is almost half the size it was a few days ago. I hope Ivory doesn't realize.

-IVORY 

Remi ignored my calls and texts for a few days straight, he didn't come into school and I was worried to go to his house in case he didn't want me there. He replied today. I see the message and I smile, he replied, that means he doesn't hate me, hopefully.

I open the message and I see he is back. We talk for a couple of hours to catch up but he wouldn't tell me why he wasn't responding. Something was up that I didn't know about.

"Is it about your dad?" I asked him.

He said not exactly, I didn't know what that meant but let me tell you when I say that's all I could think of for the rest of the day, I'm not joking.

I come into school the next day. Remi still isn't in, but me and Jade made great friends with all his mates.

"Oh, he does this all the time, don't worry, he's just mitching," they say.

The look on Krysti's face tells me otherwise, but I leave it. I go over to his house after school. I knock on the door but nobody comes to the door. I look at Remis window and I catch him glimpsing out the window for a second. He saw me so he hid. He looked different.

I get a call on my phone. Its Remi.

"I can't come to the door sorry," he says.

"Just go home, you don't want to see me,"

I end the call. Why is he being so cold. A thought that I was trying to hold back creeps into my mind. Is Remi cheating on me?

I run over to Jade's house crying.

"What a fucking bitch, I hate him," she yells as she holds me in her arms.

"Noooo, he's still a good guy," I plead, my mouth full of cookie dough ice-cream.

"He's cheating on you." She gives me a stern look.

"We don't know for sure," I say, lowering my voice.

I go to text him now that I'm home but he had already sent me a message.

"I'm so sorry about today, I know this seems terrible but I don't want you seeing me like this."

I stare at the message, I don't know how to reply. I'm mad and upset at the same time. I want to know what going on, why won't he tell me. What's happened that's so bad he can't even let me see him.

I reply with a picture and he sends one back. His face is pale and he looks hungry. The bags under his eyes stand out, but they look good on him. I reply back with a joke.

"Go to bed sleepy, you look like a zombie,"

He doesn't reply. I wondered if I said something wrong. I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I couldn't help but feel guilty. What if what's why he doesn't want to see me. He feels self-conscious, and I just made it worse. I close my eyes, but when they close, I see a terrifying image. It keeps me awake all night. I can't even begin to explain how awful it made me feel. I couldn't get to sleep that night.

All I could think of was Remi, and the image of him I saw when I closed my eyes.