The Student Therapist

Chapter 23

By Tuesday afternoon, I was beginning to feel the consequences of the 6 Am practice. After passing out for a little while before my classes and then somehow getting myself out of the bed into them, I was struggling to stay awake in my seat. Every few seconds I slumped further in my chair , until someone nearby made a noise that jolted my head forward and eyes open.

I somehow stuck it out for my only two classes of the day and was out by 2:30, although the few hours felt like a lifetime. I packed up my things at half speed before heading out the academic hall, and then felt my backpack begin to vibrate.

"Shit." I muttered to myself when I realized I packed my phone in the bag.

I moved out of the entrance and towards the ledge of the stairs so I could dig for my incessantly vibrating cellphone. By the time I reach it, the phone call gets sent to voicemail but I see mom sprawled across the screen as the call drop.

I zip my bag pack up and start walking down the front steps as I fiddle with my phone to call her back. My phone buzzes in my hands before I can press the call and I see my mom decided to text me whatever she wanted to say instead.

Jisoo's surgery has been scheduled for Saturday morning. Will you be home yet?

I stare at the phone and slowly stop walking once I reach the bottom step. It takes me a moment to process this news and my mind flashes between the thought of Jisoo in her hospital bed to Lisa talking about her dad doing the surgery for free.

After a moment, I regain my composure and text her back.

I'll drive home Friday. Is Lisa's dad her surgeon?

I let out a breath and start walking towards the radio station for my shift, my mind newly awake. The news had jolted me and I anxiously clutched my phone as I awaited a text back, my mind reeling about Jisoo. This surgery could mean then end of her cancer.

My anxious was interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice saying my name, but unlike last time when she was seething, Lisa sounded tentative. "Jennie."

Half grateful for any distraction, I turned around to face the culprit. Upon seeing Lisa's face did I realize that she had never texted me when I had fallen asleep after practice, even though I could see her typing for minutes. I narrow my eyes when my gaze falls on her defensively, although I wasn't in the mood to be angry with her.

"I can't stay and chat." I tell her point-blank. "I'm walking to work."

She was still a few yards away when I tell her this. So I promptly turn around and continue walking. I suddenly remembering the hurt in the pit of my stomach when Lisa had told me to get out of her way earlier.

"I'll walk with you." Lisa offers, her voice sounding much closer. I turn a little to she she's jogging to catch up to me.

I don't reply or say anything when she finally returns to a notmal pace beside me. Between her outright rude attitude this morning and the news my mom had just dropped on me, I wasn't in the mood to talk unless she was apologizing. And luckily my dreams came true.

"I'm sorry about earlier." She says immediately, almost like she could read my mind. "I shouldn't have acted like such an ass."

"Then why did you?" I question, my gaze still not meeting her.

Lisa sighs and I glance out of my peripheral vision to see her wring her hands nervously. "I didn't expect my first practice back yo go like that and I was frustrated with myself."

"To go like what?" I ask for clarification, and finally look at her.

Her electric eyes search mine for a moment before she admits. "I couldn't focus because I couldn't stop looking at you. And Coach noticed me fumbling the snap and getting sacked, obviously, which is why he had to talk to us."

My heart skipped a beat in my chest as the words leave her mouth, and the intensity of her gaze as it bore into mine gave me goosebumps.

"But it was my fault and not yours." Lisa continues, and I was thankful that she kept talking because I couldn't form a sentence right now even if I tried. "And it wasn't right for me to talk it out on you. I'm sorry."

Although we were still walking, out steps had gotten smaller and slower in pace, until I just stopped altogether. I stare at her for a long time without saying anything as my mind processes her full apology and the revelation that I was the one causing her yo lose focus today.

And then I thought about the two years I've known Lisa Manoban, and all the girls I've seen her hook up with and then dump, and the fact the she has never once let any of those girls distract her from football. She never let anything get in the way of her focus and precision when she was out there on the field.

Until me.

Lisa's apology and my own realization gave me a hype of confidence that I hadn't previously had, and one that I couldn't quite explain. And maybe the confidence was false and it was nothing more than the fact that I was acting because of the news about Jisoo. But whatever it was, it made me smile.

And then it made me kiss Lisa. Just a short kiss, a little longer than a few seconds and I practically did all the work because she was shocked by me. But the feeling of her lips on mine even for a short time, felt euphoric. I placed my hand on her chest for support to push myself away from her lips an amile at her dazed features.

"I know you said not to kiss you again." I said jokingly. "But I figured you wouldn't mind."

Lisa's eyes datt between mine for a moment before she grins and lets out a low breath, shaking her head slowly. Her gaze never tearing from mine, her voice deep when she tells me, "You are something else, Nini."

"I forgive you." I add. "And if you can get through the game on Thursday, then I can take your full attention when we go out after."

I felt weirdly calm amid on overload of confidence until my phone vibrate again. My cool smile slides off my face as I look at my phone immediately.

Yes. He's made travel arrangements to come here operate at our children's hospital.

"Uhh, you okay?" Lisa asks upon witnessing my abrupt mood change.

"Your dads doing the surgery." I say as I look away from my phone and straight at Lisa with a different kind of intensity than before. "He's operating on Jisoo on Saturday."

Lisa nods slowly. "He called me after practice to tell me."

I nod yoo, for no real reason other than to do something. It felt like my emotions had been bouncing around all morning and now I didn't know where they were going to land.

"I'll come home with you." She didn't offer but rather states this. "So I can be there if you need me."

Her words finally instilled some type of calmness in me and I was able to take a breath and realize that, with her by my side.. the whole thing would be less stressful.

But even if her presence would relax me, I still couldn't accept her offer. It was the beginning of  Thanksgiving break... I couldn't force her to come home with me.

"Yes I will." She says preemptively when I make a face, she adds, "I knew you were going to refuse. So I'm just getting ahead of it."

My lips twitch up a little and I tell her, "We'll talk later. I have to go to work."

"Do I get a goodbye kiss?" Lisa asks cheekily.

I start taking a few steps backward, towards the radio station and grin at her. "You wish you were so lucky."

She grins brightly. "Yes, I do." Her admittance sends butterflies through my stomach. "I'll see you later, Jen."

As I walked to my shift at the radio station, I couldn't get the smile off my face. Not only was the prospect of Jisoo's surgery going well making me giddy, but the fact that Lisa would be by my side throughout the waiting period made me feel more calm about the whole thing.

And because Lisa would be with me, I didn't let myself fret about what could go wrong. I didn't let the anxiety eat me up. I just keep smiling and felt a weird sense of calm overtake me and focused on the good 'what if' instead of the bad 'what if''.