Again?

6

I rose off the ground and let out a long, heavy sigh. "Mom, I'm leaving."

"What's the deal with the early morning sigh? You ain't going in a war. So, keep your spirits up."

Oh, How much I wish to talk back right now. But I'm afraid I won't be able to. I am saving my energy for later.

"Yeah..."

I don't have time for this. I really don't wanna go but it's the last day. I feel restless too. My shoulder feels heavy as if I am carrying the weight of many people.

I shouldn't have studied that much. Oh wait- I fell asleep around midnight. I have no recollection of what I read; all I know is opening my anatomy book and looking at the titan-like human structure.

Sometimes, I question myself about choosing the medical field.

Damnit. I am going to fail the license exam with this progress.

I will not allow my future children to pursue a job as a nurse. I'm fed up with it.

^^

The mother's crying rang around the room as I placed the deceased fetus inside a bag. This is what I have to deal with every month. At least once, medical servicers will witness someone dying. But as it's not my first time seeing a deceased body, I no longer feel anything. I am kidding, I still do. But you can say, I am pretty much used to it now.

"(L/N), if you're finished, please accompany the patient."

"Yes."

Being a labor nurse is both sad and joyful. You'll be glad for the mother and family if the baby is delivered healthily, but you'll feel awful if the baby dies within the womb or during delivery.

This lady and her baby, who was developing inside her, were under my and another senior nurse's care. Not in my care; I was doing my practical or learning from my senior, whatever they call it; but she was mostly in my senior's care. I just did what she asked me to.

Were we being irresponsible by not realizing she had an infection? The doctor also didn't suspect anything during all her checking.

I sighed as I walked out of the morgue room and towards the reception area desk. Let's go (Y/N). You have to look after her right now. What has been done has been done. It is unchangeable.

I also need to study for the licensure exam. Although it is still a few months away, I must prepare. Internships aren't going to last indefinitely.

Why is this pressure pressuring me from every side possible?

I tossed the gloves and hurled the mask off my face into the trash. I sat on the cold marble floor beside the receptionist and sighed. I can feel the gaze of the senior nurse right across me.

I need to get back to her room as soon as possible.

"Could you please hand the mask box to me?" I asked the senior nurse, who immediately handed me the package. I took one mask and held it instead of wearing it.

"Don't worry. Though it was unfortunate, it wasn't your fault." She told me while coming closer and ruffling my hair.

I never claimed it was my fault.

"Never was, senior," I mumbled.

Let me stay here a bit.

"You are?" I overheard the medical receptionist conversing with some visitors or, more likely, the relatives of one of the patients. Maybe.

The sound of a stretcher wheeling around and the pungent odor of antiseptic lingered in my nose, the strong scent of chloride. The noises surround me as I close my eyes and relax against the hardwood.